What is the meaning of practicing trust when one's sense of self is not fixed but constantly changing? In this essay, we will explore how individuals can cultivate trust within their relationships despite shifting identities, desires, and needs.
Let us consider the nature of the self. According to sociologist Niklas Luhmann, the concept of "self" is a complex construct that emerges from interactions with others. Selfhood, therefore, cannot be understood independently of social context. When we engage with another person, we bring our individual experiences, values, and beliefs into contact with their own. This creates a dynamic relationship that shapes both parties involved. In this way, selfhood is performative - it is created through interaction rather than preexisting inside an individual.
Let us turn to the role of trust in these interactions. Trust involves a willingness to rely on someone else, even if they may disappoint or hurt you. It requires vulnerability and risk-taking, as well as an openness to being changed by the other person. But what happens when selfhood itself is in flux? How do we know whom to trust, especially when our own identity changes rapidly? The answer lies in recognizing that all selves are inherently unstable. No one has complete control over their emotions, thoughts, or actions, and no one knows exactly who they will become tomorrow. Therefore, the practice of trust must involve accepting this uncertainty and allowing for change within oneself and one's partner.
If one party suddenly develops new interests or desires outside of the original agreement, they should not be judged or rejected but rather accepted as part of the changing process. Similarly, if one feels conflicted about certain aspects of themselves or their relationship, they should discuss this openly with their partner instead of hiding behind a fixed sense of self.
How can individuals build trust while practicing selfhood? One approach is to focus on shared goals and values. By aligning yourself with your partner's aspirations and values, you create a foundation for mutual respect and understanding. You also demonstrate that you are invested in the relationship and committed to its success. Another strategy is to communicate regularly and honestly, sharing both positive and negative experiences without blame or shame. This allows for greater transparency and intimacy between partners, which strengthens trust.
Setting clear boundaries and expectations helps ensure that everyone involved feels safe and supported.
Building trust requires patience, vulnerability, and willingness to embrace complexity - traits that are essential in any healthy relationship.
Practicing trust means accepting that identities, desires, and needs are always shifting and evolving. It involves embracing change, communication, and commitment to the relationship. By doing so, we can cultivate deeper connections with our partners and create more resilient bonds that weather all kinds of challenges.
What does it mean to practice trust when selfhood itself is dynamic and performative?
Trust involves letting go of certainty and embracing ambiguity. It is an act of vulnerability that requires courage and bravery, and yet, it can also be a source of strength and resilience. Trusting another person means recognizing their humanity and allowing oneself to be seen as human too. By practicing trust, we acknowledge our interdependence with others and learn how to navigate the complexities of relationships.