Emotional Costs of Perceived Threat to Psychological Defenses
When a veteran experiences their partner's need for proximity as an assault on their well-established mental defenses, it can have far-reaching consequences. These emotional expenses may include feelings of shame, guilt, fear, anger, loneliness, and isolation. They might also experience despair, self-doubt, and anxiety as they try to protect themselves from what they perceive to be a personal attack on their very being. The resultant discomfort can be both psychologically and physically distressing, taking a serious toll on the veteran's overall health and wellbeing. In addition to these direct costs, the veteran may suffer indirect impacts such as strained relationships, impaired communication, decreased intimacy, and reduced trust between themself and their companion.
This pattern of behavior can lead to long-term problems that can persist even after the underlying source of the problem has been addressed or resolved.
Causes of Veterans' Emotional Reactions
There are various potential reasons why a veteran might feel threatened by their spouse's desire for closeness.
Some people may have experienced trauma in childhood or adolescence that made them sensitive to physical or emotional closeness. Others may have developed coping mechanisms during military service that make them resistant to intimate connections. Still, others could be dealing with posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, or another mental health issue that makes them prone to feeling overwhelmed by emotions or suspicious of those around them. Whatever the cause, it is essential to recognize that each individual case will differ depending on their unique set of circumstances.
Coping Mechanisms Used by Veterans
When confronted with the threat of proximity, many veterans resort to defensive strategies like withdrawal, avoidance, denial, or anger. They may attempt to distance themselves from their partner emotionally or physically, pushing away any attempts at closeness while also trying to conceal their true feelings about what is happening within the relationship. This can result in hurtful behaviors that harm both parties involved and erode trust between them. Alternatively, they may act out aggressively towards their mate, lashing out verbally or physically as a way of protecting themselves from perceived dangers. In either case, these responses can lead to further isolation and distress, creating a cycle wherein the veteran feels increasingly alienated and misunderstood by their loved ones.
Impact on Relationships
The impact of this pattern of behavior on relationships is far-reaching. It can result in heightened conflict, mistrust, and resentment between partners who feel unable to communicate openly and honestly with one another. When a person feels threatened by someone's desire for closeness, they often become closed off and guarded, making it difficult for their spouse to understand their needs or desires.
This dynamic can erode the foundation of the relationship, leading to feelings of frustration, disappointment, and hopelessness among both parties.
If not addressed promptly, it could even lead to separation or divorce, leaving all those involved feeling lost and disconnected.
Resolving Emotional Costs
To address the emotional costs of perceiving closeness as a threat to psychological defenses, several steps must be taken. First, it is vital to identify and acknowledge the root cause of the problem - whether related to past trauma, PTSD, depression, or other mental health issues. Next, they need professional help from trained therapists or counselors specializing in treating veterans and their families. Treatment should involve exploring underlying thoughts and feelings surrounding intimacy, learning new coping mechanisms, practicing communication skills, building trust, and working towards greater understanding and empathy. By taking these steps, veterans can begin to move beyond their fear of being vulnerable or sharing themselves deeply with others while also strengthening their connection with loved ones through increased honesty and transparency.
What emotional costs arise when a veteran perceives their partner's desire for closeness as a threat to their carefully maintained psychological defenses?
When veterans experience their partners' desires for closeness as threatening, they may become overwhelmed with negative emotions such as shame, guilt, anger, or fear. They may feel that opening up to their partners would expose them to judgment or criticism from others who do not understand military life. Additionally, they may be afraid of reliving traumatic experiences that were triggered during their service time.