The word "bisexual" is used to describe individuals who experience attraction towards both men and women. Bisexuals often face discrimination from straight people who see them as confused or promiscuous, while lesbians and gays view them as fence-sitters.
Bisexuals challenge these assumptions through their very existence, questioning the normativity of heteronormative society and its limited conception of desire. This essay argues that bisexuality can also critique the ethical reduction of relationships to possession, closure, or clarity.
In contemporary Western societies, romantic relationships are typically understood as possessive, closed, and clear. The language of ownership is commonplace - one partner owns the other's body, heart, soul, time, mind, etc. The idea of possession implies that the individual has full control over another person, whose desires and needs are subordinated to those of the owner. In such a framework, intimacy becomes reduced to an objectified form of consumption, wherein the lovers' bodies are treated like commodities exchanged for mutual benefit.
Partners in possessive relationships tend to seek exclusivity and define boundaries, which further limits the potential for exploration and growth. As such, it is no surprise that monogamous couples frequently break up due to boredom and monotony.
Bisexuality, on the other hand, challenges this possessive model by embracing fluidity and diversity. Bisexuals recognize that sexual attractions do not follow neat categories but rather emerge spontaneously and unexpectedly, defying categorization. Instead of defining themselves according to fixed labels, they embrace the complexity of desire, seeing it as inherently messy, unpredictable, and always-changing. Accordingly, bisexuals often have multiple partners simultaneously without feeling guilty about it, recognizing that their emotional and erotic interests cannot be contained within rigid frameworks.
The second aspect of possessive relationships is closure. Couples who pursue "closure" tend to view their relationship as a closed system where everything is resolved and nothing is left unsaid. This means that once the relationship ends, there is little room for future development or reunion, even if both parties wish to continue their connection.
Bisexuals challenge this notion by remaining open-ended; they believe that relationships can be temporary and evolving, allowing individuals to come back together when desired. This approach is particularly relevant today, given the rise of non-monogamy and polyamory, which challenge traditional notions of couplehood based on property ownership.
Bisexuals critique the idea of clarity in relationships, which implies that all aspects must be known and understood from the start. Such an understanding requires transparency and honesty, which may lead to feelings of shame or guilt due to secrets or lies. In contrast, bisexuals are more comfortable with ambiguity and mystery, recognizing that intimacy does not stem from complete knowledge but rather from mutual exploration. They see relationships as dynamic processes wherein partners continually reveal new layers to each other over time. As such, bisexuals reject clear boundaries and instead embrace fluidity and uncertainty.
Bisexuality challenges conventional norms of romantic relationships by embracing complexity, flexibility, openness, and mystery. By doing so, it offers a model that disrupts our ethical assumptions about possession, closure, and clarity, inviting us to rethink our views on love, intimacy, and desire. Bisexuals remind us that relationships should not be reduced to possessive contracts or closed systems but rather seen as ongoing journeys of self-discovery and shared growth.
How does bisexuality critique the ethical reduction of relationships to possession, closure, or clarity?
Bisexuality challenges the common belief that all romantic partnerships should be characterized by exclusivity and permanence. It suggests that people can have multiple loving and intimate relationships at once without necessarily excluding others from their lives. This approach to relationships is often seen as liberating because it allows individuals to explore different facets of themselves while maintaining connections with various partners.