The role of emotions in relationship satisfaction(https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC46921868/) is well established. Emotions are often described as primary motivators for maintaining close ties between individuals and they may serve to promote personal health, self-esteem, well-being, and long-term goals. Resilient romantic couples have been found to be more positively emotionally expressive towards each other compared to less resilient ones, and this positive affectivity seems crucial for successful maintenance of a relationship. On the other hand, negative feelings and conflictual interactions can contribute to deterioration of partnerships. Therefore, understanding how emotional meaning-making influences the resilience of sexual partnerships is important in order to develop effective interventions that help people stay together despite difficult times.
What does it mean to 'make sense' of an emotion?
In psychological research, making sense of one's own or someone else's behavior refers to the process by which individuals create narratives about their experiences and attribute meaning to them. This process involves several steps including attention selection, categorization, evaluation, interpretation, and memory encoding.
If you see your partner upset, you will first notice that something is wrong with him/her, then ask what happened and try to understand why he/she is feeling that way. You might evaluate his/her reaction (e.g., did s/he overreact?) and interpret it (e.g., was s/he hurt because of my actions).
You will remember that episode and store it into your memory.
How do we make sense of our partner's emotions?
People typically interpret their partner's behaviors through preconceived beliefs and expectations they have developed throughout their relationships. These include past experiences, cultural background, personality traits, attachment styles, and individual differences such as gender, age, sexual orientation, or ethnicity. Interpreting a situation as positive or negative may lead to either strengthening or weakening of the relationship.
If you perceive a conflict between you and your partner as a threat to your romantic bond, this could lead to feelings of anxiety and distress that may damage your relationship in the long run. On the other hand, seeing disagreements as normal and healthy can foster more open communication and intimacy.
What are the effects of making sense of emotional episodes on resilience?
Making sense of an emotionally charged event helps people deal with uncertainty and manage strong emotions.
When emotions are intense and confusing, making sense can be difficult. This may lead to misunderstandings and misinterpretations that compromise partnerships. When individuals assign blame, deny responsibility, or minimize the importance of the issue, it makes resolving conflicts harder. Negative emotions like anger or guilt may also impede the ability to think clearly and solve problems effectively.
Rumination about negative events tends to amplify them and prolong distress.
Having a different understanding of a situation may also create tension and ruin trust within couples.
Can we train ourselves to make sense of emotions better?
Yes! Couple's therapists help couples reflect on their own behavioral patterns and improve their communication skills to reduce misunderstandings. Individual psychotherapy can address personal beliefs and expectations that interfere with accurate interpretation of partner's behaviors.
Mindfulness meditation has been shown to increase emotional awareness and regulation by teaching people how to observe their thoughts and feelings without judgment. Focusing on the present moment also allows for a more realistic assessment of situations instead of relying on past experiences. Lastly, empathic listening is crucial in order to understand your partner's perspective and feel understood yourself.
How does emotional meaning-making influence the resilience of sexual partnerships?
Sexual partnerships are complex and multifaceted relationships that require constant maintenance and effort from both parties involved. Resilience refers to an individual's ability to cope with adversity and maintain their wellbeing despite facing challenges in their life. The process of meaning-making involves making sense of one's experiences and interpreting them based on their cultural context and personal beliefs.