Rebuilding sexual trust after your partner has criticized or misunderstood your sexual fantasies or fetishes can be difficult, but it is possible. Here are some steps you can take to rebuild that trust:
Step 1: Communicate openly and honestly about your needs and desires.
Talk to your partner about what you want from your relationship, including any fantasies or fetishes you have. This will help them understand where you're coming from and give them insight into your sexual preferences. Be sure to explain why these things are important to you and how they fit into your overall sense of self. Don't assume they will automatically know everything; instead, provide detailed explanations so there's no room for misinterpretation.
Step 2: Listen carefully to their concerns and reactions.
Your partner may feel uncomfortable or even scared when confronted with something new. They may also have valid reasons for feeling this way based on their own experiences or values. Hear them out without judgment and try to understand their point of view. Ask clarifying questions to get a better understanding of their thoughts and feelings. Don't dismiss their concerns outright, as this could further damage the relationship.
Step 3: Seek professional help if needed.
If the issue between you both persists despite communication, consider seeking counseling. A therapist can help you work through any underlying issues related to intimacy and trust in your relationship. They can also provide additional resources to explore your fantasies and fetishes safely and responsibly. It's essential to find someone who specializes in sex therapy and has experience working with couples like yours.
Step 4: Explore alternative ways to express your desires.
Sometimes it's not feasible to act out all of our fantasies in real life, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't enjoy them in other ways. Try role-playing or writing down scenarios that satisfy your needs without actually acting on them physically. This can be an exciting and creative way to bring new energy into your sexual dynamic without compromising boundaries or safety. Additionally, consider trying different positions or toys during sex - they might spark new ideas and interests.
Step 5: Reassure your partner regularly that your relationship is safe and healthy.
Reiterate how much you love and respect each other outside of bedtime, including any shared goals or activities you have together. This will remind your partner that you care about more than just sex, reaffirming their trust in you as a person. Remember that trust takes time and patience to rebuild; don't expect overnight results, even if progress seems slow at first.
In conclusion, communicating openly, listening carefully, getting professional help when needed, exploring alternatives, and reassuring your partner are all steps towards rebuilding sexual trust after criticism or misunderstanding of fantasies/fetishes. Be patient, understanding, and willing to work through this challenge for the benefit of your relationship.