Partners navigating relational recalibrations can be challenging for many reasons, but especially so when one partner has experienced combat. Soldiers may return home with new worldviews and priorities that are different from those they had before deployment. This can lead to communication breakdowns and misunderstandings between partners who struggle to find common ground. In addition, soldiers often experience trauma while deployed which affects their behavior and emotional state upon returning home. These factors require partners to navigate changes in their relationship carefully and thoughtfully.
One key challenge is learning how to communicate effectively about difficult topics related to war experiences without triggering negative emotions or feeling uncomfortable. Partners must learn to be patient with each other's needs and boundaries around these issues and understand that their soldier may need time and space for processing traumatic memories. They should also avoid making assumptions about what their soldier wants or needs based solely on past interactions. Instead, they should ask open-ended questions and listen actively without judgement.
Another challenge is managing expectations regarding intimacy after returning home. Some soldiers may have difficulty expressing physical affection due to increased fear of closeness, while others may have difficulty connecting emotionally due to dissociation caused by their experiences. It's essential to recognize that this is normal and provide support accordingly. Partners should offer nonverbal cues such as touch or holding hands instead of asking for hugs if they sense hesitance.
Both parties should try not to place blame or shame themselves or the other person for any changes in intimacy levels.
Partners may also need help adjusting to changes in daily routines, schedules, and roles at home since one partner has been away for an extended period. This includes reestablishing trust, reconnecting sexually, and rediscovering common interests together. Military spouses can benefit from seeking outside assistance, whether through therapy, support groups, or counseling. These resources can provide a safe space for venting frustrations and identifying practical solutions to challenges unique to military life.
Navigating relational recalibrations when a soldier returns home from deployment requires patience, understanding, compassion, and communication skills. By recognizing these challenges and working together towards mutual goals, couples can build stronger relationships despite changing circumstances.
How do partners navigate relational recalibration when soldiers' worldviews and priorities have changed due to combat experiences?
When one partner's perception of the relationship changes as a result of military service, it can be difficult for both parties involved to find ways to resolve this disconnect. This is especially true if the soldier has experienced combat trauma, which may alter their perspective on life and their values. One way that partners can navigate these challenges is by having open communication about what each person needs from the relationship and being willing to compromise where possible.