The majority of research on veteran's reintegration has focused on socioeconomic factors such as employment, family life, physical health, mental health, and education.
Little is known about how veterans adjust to their new civilian lives in terms of intimate relationships and sex. This study aimed to explore how veterans navigate intimacy and sexual expression within civilian social norms following extended periods of military service.
Sexuality is an important aspect of human existence that helps individuals connect with others. The transition from a highly regimented and regulated environment like the military to one where individual expression is more valued can be difficult for some veterans. In addition, many veterans may have experienced traumatic events while serving, which could impact their ability to trust and open up emotionally. The stigma surrounding veterans who struggle with PTSD or other psychological conditions can also hinder them from seeking help and support.
To gather data, this study conducted semi-structured interviews with six male veterans between the ages of 25 and 40 who had served at least three years in active duty. All participants were married or cohabitating with partners before enlisting, and all reported having difficulties adjusting to civilian life after leaving the military. The interview questions were designed to elicit stories of challenges in romantic and sexual relationships, including communication patterns, expectations versus reality, fears and anxieties, and coping strategies used by participants.
Participants described experiencing increased stress when returning home due to changes in roles, schedules, and expectations. They expressed difficulty finding time for intimacy and feeling emotionally distant from their partners, even if they lived together. Some struggled with physical arousal issues due to combat experiences or injuries sustained during service. Others felt that their partners had changed significantly since joining the military and found it hard to reconnect on an emotional level. Many reported feelings of guilt and shame about not being able to meet their partner's needs physically or emotionally.
Veterans also spoke about the impact of military culture on their views of masculinity and gender roles. Several said they had been taught to suppress emotions in the military and had difficulty expressing vulnerability or neediness outside of it. This could lead to conflicts with their partners over communication styles, decision-making processes, and household responsibilities. Veterans also reported confusion around how to interact with others without the same power dynamics present in the military hierarchy.
To cope with these challenges, some veterans turned to alcohol, drugs, or pornography to avoid dealing with their feelings directly. Others sought out therapy or support groups to work through trauma-related issues.
Most participants stated that their relationships improved over time as they learned to communicate better, prioritize self-care, and find balance between civilian life and military memories.
This study provides insight into the complexities of veteran's adjustment to civilian society regarding sex and intimacy. While many struggles were identified, there are also potential solutions available to help them navigate this transition successfully. Understanding how the military shapes sexuality and intimacy can inform policies to better support veterans returning home.
How do veterans negotiate intimacy and sexual expression within civilian social norms after prolonged military service?
After returning from active duty, veterans may face difficulties adjusting to civilian society's expectations regarding intimacy and sexual expression due to changes in their physical and mental states. Some individuals experience trauma that affects their ability to form meaningful relationships with others or feel comfortable expressing themselves sexually. Additionally, veterans who have been away for long periods of time may find it challenging to reintegrate into family life and romantic partnerships they left behind.