Negotiating Relationships in Non-Monogamous Structures
Non-monogamy is a relationship structure where one or more partners are involved in multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships at once. This can be done either openly, meaning that all parties know about each other's involvement with other people, or secretly, without any knowledge of the other partner(s) being involved. While non-monogamy has been increasing in popularity in recent years, it still raises many questions about how these structures affect relational negotiation, attachment security, and emotional regulation. In this article, we will explore how these factors may be influenced by non-monogamous relationships.
Negotiating Relationships
When entering into a non-monogamous relationship, there are important discussions to have around boundaries, communication, and expectations between all parties involved. These include topics such as what type of non-monogamy you want (open, closed), how often you want to see other partners, whether or not you want to meet them together or separately, and what kind of intimacy you're comfortable with sharing. Having clear communication from the start helps prevent misunderstandings later down the road.
Setting guidelines for when and where you communicate with your partner(s) can help avoid potential conflicts.
Even within these guidelines, it's essential to remain flexible enough so that if something does come up unexpectedly, you feel comfortable communicating about it immediately.
Attachment Security
Attachment security refers to an individual's ability to form close, secure relationships with others based on trust, empathy, and comfort. When starting a non-monogamous relationship, there is a risk that one partner may develop stronger feelings than intended while another remains more casual. This imbalance in attachment can lead to jealousy, resentment, and ultimately the end of the relationship. It's crucial to establish clear rules regarding who gets priority, such as spending time with each partner equally or prioritizing certain activities over others, to ensure everyone feels valued and supported.
Emotional Regulation
Emotions can be challenging in any relationship, but they can become particularly intense when multiple partners are involved. It's important to practice good self-care, including getting regular exercise, eating well, sleeping adequately, and managing stress. You should also find ways to cope with negative emotions like anger, fear, and anxiety in healthy ways rather than lashing out at your partner(s). This includes having an outlet outside the relationship, such as talking with friends or engaging in hobbies.
Remember that non-monogamy is not for everyone - if you experience anxiety or depression related to non-monogamy, it may be worth reconsidering your involvement in these types of relationships.
How do non-monogamous structures influence relational negotiation, attachment security, and emotional regulation?
Non-monogamy structures can impact relational negotiations by requiring individuals to communicate openly and transparently about their desires, boundaries, and expectations within the relationship. This can help build trust and understanding between partners and foster healthy communication skills that benefit all relationships. Non-monogamy can also lead to increased feelings of attachment insecurity due to the presence of outside partners, but with clear rules and boundaries set, this can be managed.