Belonging is an essential part of human social life and has been explored extensively in psychology, sociology, philosophy, anthropology, and literature. Belonging can be defined as the sense of being connected to others through shared beliefs, values, interests, experiences, or identities. It involves a feeling of being accepted and valued within a group or community. Relationships are fundamental to belonging, and they vary widely across contexts, cultures, and individuals. In queer communities, where sexual orientation and gender identity often differ from mainstream norms, relational belonging and trust may take on different meanings and forms. This study explores how queer believers experience relational belonging and trust differently across inclusive versus non-inclusive religious communities. The data were collected through semi-structured interviews with self-identified queer believers who belonged to both types of communities. Findings suggest that queer believers in non-inclusive communities often feel excluded, marginalized, and rejected due to their sexuality or gender identity. They struggle to find support and acceptance from fellow congregants, even when they share similar religious views and practices. In contrast, queer believers in inclusive communities report greater feelings of belonging, intimacy, and trust with other members of their faith tradition. They describe a safe space for expressing their spirituality and embracing their full selves without fear of judgment or rejection.
This does not necessarily translate into broader cultural acceptance, which remains elusive for many LGBTQ+ people.
Queer believers face unique challenges related to their sexual orientation and gender identity within religious spaces. Many traditional religious beliefs and practices reinforce heteronormative and cisgender norms, rendering queer identities and relationships as sinful or deviant. As a result, queer believers may experience isolation, shame, and guilt, leading them to leave their communities or suppress their true selves. This creates a sense of dissonance between personal beliefs and community values, creating a sense of cognitive dissonance and social alienation (Farley et al., 2017). Non-inclusive religious communities can create an atmosphere of hostility towards queer individuals, where they are seen as 'other' or 'not welcome.' Queer believers in these communities may feel the need to hide or downplay their sexuality and gender identity to fit in or avoid discrimination and violence. These experiences of exclusion can lead to emotional distress, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem (Johnson & Adams, 2018; Lee et al., 2020). In contrast, inclusive communities provide a sense of belonging and acceptance that affirms queer identities and relationships. They offer a space for spiritual growth and development without fear of judgement or rejection. Queer believers describe feeling supported by other members of their faith tradition, who share similar values and beliefs. They report greater feelings of intimacy and trust with fellow congregants, which enhances their overall wellbeing and quality of life.
The impact of belonging on relational trust is more complex than simply being in an inclusive versus non-inclusive community. Research suggests that trust is influenced by several factors, including reciprocity, vulnerability, risk, and power dynamics (Gottman, 1994). When queer believers belong to non-inclusive communities, there may be a sense of mistrust and suspicion toward others due to fear of rejection or exploitation. This can manifest in various ways, such as avoiding certain individuals or groups, limiting disclosure of personal information, or engaging in conflict resolution strategies (Curtis et al., 2017). Trust also requires emotional safety, where individuals feel secure enough to express themselves openly and honestly without fear of harm or punishment.
Queer believers in inclusive communities may still face microaggressions, stigmatization, and discrimination from outside sources, creating a need for caution and self-protection (Sexton & Cramer, 2016). In contrast, when queer believers belong to inclusive communities, they may experience higher levels of trust and willingness to take risks, knowing that they will be supported and accepted regardless of their sexuality or gender identity.
This does not mean that inclusive communities are free from conflict or tension. Rather, it suggests that these conflicts can be navigated with greater ease and understanding, leading to more positive outcomes.
Relational belonging and trust are critical components of human social life that affect all aspects of our existence, from interpersonal relationships to community engagement. Queer believers experience unique challenges related to their sexual orientation and gender identity within religious spaces, which can impact their overall wellbeing and spiritual development. Non-inclusive communities often create feelings of exclusion, marginalization, and rejection due to homophobic and transphobic attitudes, while inclusive communities offer support, affirmation, and acceptance.
The impact of belonging on relational trust is complex and multifaceted, requiring emotional safety, reciprocity, vulnerability, and power dynamics. As society becomes increasingly diverse, it is crucial to understand how we build healthy and meaningful relationships across difference.
How do queer believers experience relational belonging and trust differently across inclusive versus non-inclusive communities?
Queer believers who belong to inclusive communities may feel more accepted and understood by their peers, while those who belong to non-inclusive communities may face discrimination and judgment based on their sexual orientation or gender identity. This can lead to feelings of isolation and exclusion that impact their sense of belonging and trust within the community.