How do kind remarks from peers shape identity and relational perception?
People often wonder how their appearance, behavior, personality, beliefs, feelings, opinions, preferences, desires, etc. are perceived by others. They might want to know if they fit into society's norms or whether people consider them weird, interesting, funny, attractive, cool, smart, sexy, talented, lovable, trustworthy, etc. It is difficult to understand what makes someone popular or unpopular, liked or disliked, wanted or unwanted, respected or ridiculed. One way to answer these questions is through peer feedback.
Peers provide feedback about one another when they interact and exchange verbal and nonverbal messages. This can include compliments, criticism, advice, warnings, insults, teasing, jokes, gossip, rumors, gestures, touches, smiles, glances, posture, tone of voice, eye contact, facial expressions, body language, clothing choices, and more. How do these remarks affect our sense of self and social relationships? Let's find out!
The effects of positive comments depend largely on the context, the person giving them, and the recipient's experience with them.
A stranger who tells you that your shoes are awesome is unlikely to change your opinion of yourself for long. A close friend who praises your haircut, on the other hand, may be taken seriously. Positive feedback can increase confidence, improve mood, boost motivation, enhance belongingness, encourage risk-taking, foster creativity, promote conformity, strengthen bonds, reinforce attitudes, and lead to reciprocity. It can also backfire if it becomes excessive, insincere, or flattering in an inappropriate situation.
Negative comments work similarly but tend to have stronger negative consequences than positives. They can cause anxiety, embarrassment, anger, sadness, guilt, shame, resentment, frustration, helplessness, rejection, loneliness, stress, depression, aggression, passivity, avoidance, retaliation, revenge, and others. Their impact varies depending on many factors such as the source (e.g., peer vs. parent), intensity (e.g., "You look like a slob!" vs. "Your shirt doesn't fit you"), frequency ("That's stupid!" vs. "Everything you say is stupid!"), repetition ("No one likes you" vs. "nobody wants to be friends with you"), tone (mockery vs. seriousness), context (social setting vs. intimate conversation), relationship quality (good vs. bad), and others.
People often compare themselves to their peers, especially when they share similar characteristics or situations. This helps them understand what makes them unique and how much they fit into society. When someone notices differences between you and your peers, this can make you feel either special or outcasted. Comparisons are a way of understanding our identity by finding where we stand relative to others. They are a normal part of life, and comparing ourselves can help us learn from others while keeping our own standards high.
If comparison leads to envy, resentment, or low self-esteem, it may become problematic and should be managed carefully.
Positive comments from peers can boost confidence, improve mood, and strengthen relationships. Negative remarks can have severe consequences that require careful management. Comparison to other people can provide valuable insights about oneself but needs to be used wisely. Feedback from peers shapes our identities and perceptions in complex ways that depend on the situation and individuals involved. It is important for us to develop healthy attitudes toward feedback and use it constructively to build strong social ties.
How do kind remarks from peers shape identity and relational perception?
Peer comments can have both positive and negative impact on one's self-perception as well as how they view their relationships. Positive feedback may increase an individual's confidence and sense of belonging while constructive criticism could aid them in improving certain areas of themselves. Negative comments, however, can lead to feelings of insecurity, embarrassment, and a need for approval. Additionally, these interactions also influence our understanding of social norms and expectations.