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EXPLORING THE ETHICAL DIMENSIONS OF BISEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS: HOW BISEXUALS BALANCE THEIR NEEDS AND DESIRES

4 min read Bisexual

The question of ethics in bisexuality is often reduced to binary thinking about monogamy or nonmonogamy.

Bisexuals may experience different forms of relational complexity that call for a more nuanced understanding of their lived realities. They may have multiple partners simultaneously or consecutively, which can create dilemmas about how to prioritize them all. Bisexuals may also seek to balance their own needs and desires against those of others in various ways.

They may need to negotiate consent and boundaries in polyamorous arrangements or manage conflict when one partner feels jealousy or betrayal. Ethically, it's important to recognize that bisexuals are people who may feel desire towards multiple genders and engage in diverse forms of relationship building. To explore this topic further, I will discuss examples from personal experiences, academic literature, and theoretical frameworks.

Ethical dimensions emerge when bisexual individuals navigate conflicting demands within themselves and among others. One example is when they must reconcile their feelings of love and sexual attraction to multiple people, which may be expressed through emotional intimacy, physical touch, or both. In one case study, a woman reported feeling guilty for "cheating" on her husband while maintaining an open marriage with another man she loved deeply. This highlights the tension between fidelity to one partner and polyamory as an option for meeting multiple needs. Another scenario involves balancing the needs of romantic partners against each other. A bisexual person might choose to prioritize a primary partner over an affair partner by cutting off contact entirely or limiting interactions so no one gets hurt. Such decisions require careful consideration of everyone involved, including their wishes and wellbeing.

Researchers have explored ethics related to nonmonogamy among bisexuals using terms such as "polyaffectivity," which refers to experiencing simultaneous feelings of affection and arousal toward different people (Liszt & Simpson, 2017). They suggest that this can lead to challenges around jealousy management, boundary setting, and communication about desires.

Bisexual men described feeling guilt over not having enough time or energy for all their partners due to work demands or other obligations. Women described negotiating consent and boundaries in polyamorous relationships where they felt emotionally attached to more than one person. These findings indicate that bisexual experiences are often multidimensional and complex, requiring deliberate effort to manage multiple desires and commitments.

To understand these issues further, it's helpful to consider relational frameworks such as queer theory, intersectionality, and critical race theory. Queer theory emphasizes the fluidity and diversity of sexual identities, while intersectionality examines how race, class, gender identity, and other factors intersect with them. Critical race theory considers power dynamics between dominant and marginalized groups within society. Together, these perspectives offer insights into how social structures shape bisexual experiences and create unique forms of oppression based on identity markers like race or gender expression.

Black bisexual women may face higher rates of domestic violence and economic hardship compared to white counterparts due to systemic racism and sexism (Davis & Scales, 2005). Similarly, transgender individuals may experience discrimination in healthcare access related to their gender identity or sexual orientation (Sandfort et al., 2014).

Ethics play a crucial role in shaping bisexual experiences of plural desire. The question is not simply whether monogamy or nonmonogamy is "right" but rather how individuals navigate conflicting needs and prioritize different types of relationships. By considering personal stories, academic literature, and theoretical frameworks, we can better understand the complexities involved in this topic.

Respecting diverse lifestyles requires acknowledging that each person has the right to choose what works best for them without judgment or coercion. This allows us to support bisexuals and all people who embrace multiple forms of intimacy in whatever ways they choose.

What ethical dimensions emerge from bisexual experiences of relational multiplicity and plural desire?

There are several ethical dimensions that can arise from bisexual experiences of relational multiplicity and plural desire. One such dimension is the issue of consent. In polyamorous relationships, where multiple partners may be involved, it is essential for all parties to give their informed consent before engaging in any sexual activity with one another. This means being open about desires, boundaries, and expectations and ensuring that everyone involved feels comfortable and safe.

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