Most people have fantasies that may be different from their real-life desires, interests, and behaviors.
Sometimes these fantasies go against a person's core values, which can create conflict within themselves. This can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, confusion, and self-doubt.
To understand how this contradiction occurs, it is essential to consider the concept of "core values." Core values are beliefs or principles that guide an individual's actions and decisions. They define what is important to them and help shape their identity and worldview.
Someone might value honesty, integrity, kindness, respect, and responsibility. These values influence their behavior towards others, such as being honest when speaking, treating others kindly, and taking responsibility for their actions.
Fantasies, on the other hand, are mental images or scenarios that an individual imagines involving sexual or romantic activities. They often involve topics that are considered taboo, forbidden, or risky in real life. Some common examples include threesomes, BDSM, group sex, fetishes, and roleplaying. These fantasies can provide excitement, arousal, and escape from everyday stressors.
When a person's fantasies contradict their core values, they face internal conflicts. One side of them wants to act out their desires while the other believes it goes against their principles. This tension can cause anxiety, depression, or even physical symptoms such as headaches, insomnia, and stomach aches. To resolve this conflict, individuals may attempt to rationalize their actions by justifying their fantasies with personal experiences, cultural norms, or media influences.
This only reinforces the cognitive dissonance and makes the situation worse.
Another approach is to explore why one has these particular fantasies and try to understand what emotions or needs drive them. This could lead to self-reflection, therapy, or even lifestyle changes. It also helps reduce shame and guilt associated with having these thoughts.
The contradiction between fantasy and core values can create significant psychological distress if not addressed effectively. While fantasizing is natural, it is essential to acknowledge one's boundaries and priorities. Communicating honestly with oneself and others about their desires and beliefs can help navigate this issue better.
What happens when fantasies contradict a person's core values?
When someone's fantasies conflict with their core beliefs, they may experience cognitive dissonance. This is because their thoughts and desires are at odds with one another, leading to feelings of guilt, confusion, and anxiety. To resolve this discomfort, individuals may either change their values or behavior to align with their desires or modify their fantasy to make it more acceptable.