It is often assumed that long separations negatively affect romantic relationships.
Research has shown that this is not always true. In fact, some studies have found that couples who experience extended time apart may actually find themselves closer after reuniting than they were before the separation. This phenomenon is known as the "paradox of distance," and it suggests that being physically apart can enhance intimacy and commitment in a relationship.
One explanation for this paradox is that long periods of absence allow couples to develop new perspectives and appreciation for their partner. When two people are together all the time, they tend to take each other for granted, becoming familiar with one another's quirks and habits. This can lead to boredom and a sense of stagnancy in the relationship. But when one person is away from home for an extended period, they miss their partner more intensely, leading them to think about them constantly and appreciate them even more upon reunion.
Another factor that contributes to the paradox of distance is communication. Long-distance relationships require greater effort and creativity in order to stay connected, which can help strengthen the bond between partners.
Couples may use technology to share photos or videos, write letters, or engage in video chats. These activities create opportunities for deeper connection and emotional sharing.
Being separated forces couples to rely more heavily on nonverbal cues, such as touch and body language, which can be particularly important in maintaining physical intimacy. Research has found that couples who spend less time together but interact more frequently through text messages, phone calls, and video chats report higher levels of satisfaction and closeness compared to those who see each other regularly but do not communicate as much.
It is worth noting that the paradox of distance does not apply to all relationships. Couples who already have significant problems or issues in their relationship may find that separations only exacerbate these issues and further strain their bond.
Long periods of absence can also cause feelings of anxiety and insecurity, making it difficult to sustain a healthy relationship over time.
While long separations can certainly pose challenges to a romantic relationship, they can also serve to enhance intimacy and commitment by providing new perspectives, creating opportunities for deeper communication, and reinforcing the importance of physical contact.
How do long periods of separation alter perceptions of intimacy and commitment?
Separation from a partner can lead to changes in both perceptions of intimacy and commitment in a relationship. According to researchers, couples who are separated for an extended period may experience increased levels of distrust, suspicion, and jealousy towards each other (Durvasula & Rughani, 2019).