There are many reasons why fantasies can create unrealistic expectations in real life situations. One reason is that fantasy often involves exaggerated or idealized scenarios that cannot be replicated in reality.
A person may have a fantasy about a perfect romance where everything goes perfectly, but this level of perfection is unlikely to happen in the real world. Another reason is that fantasies can distort reality by making it seem more exciting or desirable than it actually is. This can lead to disappointment when real encounters do not match up to these exaggerated expectations.
Some people may feel pressure to live out their fantasies in real life, which can lead to embarrassing or even dangerous situations if they try to force things to work out a certain way.
Having realistic expectations and being open to what happens in the moment is important for healthy sexual relationships.
Abstinence itself can contribute to unrealistic expectations. When someone has gone a long time without sex, they may build up anticipation and excitement around the idea of finally experiencing it again.
This can create a false sense of expectation that anything will be better than nothing, leading them to be disappointed with any less-than-perfect experience.
Abstaining from sex can cause people to become fixated on specific types of experiences, leading them to seek out situations that fit those exact parameters rather than exploring what might actually turn them on in real life.
Abstinence can make people more vulnerable to unhealthy and coercive behaviors because they are desperate for any form of intimacy, regardless of its quality.
It's important to approach sexuality with an attitude of curiosity and acceptance, rather than expecting everything to go perfectly or only pursuing specific kinds of experiences. It's also helpful to communicate honestly about one's needs and boundaries before getting involved in a sexual encounter. By doing so, people can avoid setting themselves up for disappointment and instead focus on finding pleasure and connection in whatever form it takes.
Why do fantasies after abstinence sometimes create unrealistic expectations for real encounters?
The phenomenon of "abstinence" is when someone refrains from engaging in sexual activity with others, whether it be due to their personal preferences or religious beliefs. When an individual engages in prolonged periods of abstinence, they may experience intense levels of arousal and desire that can lead to the creation of vivid fantasies involving themselves and others. These fantasies are often highly erotic and can become increasingly elaborate over time.