Soldiers often face unique challenges related to maintaining close relationships while serving their country. Whenever they are deployed for extended periods, they may be required to put their personal lives on hold temporarily, which can make it difficult to sustain romantic partnerships. This is especially true if their spouses or partners have jobs or obligations that keep them from being able to travel.
The physical separation inherent in military service can lead to feelings of loneliness and disconnection. These factors can create tension between soldiers and their loved ones when they return home after deployment and may even contribute to marital problems. In some cases, soldiers may feel conflicted about prioritizing their professional duties over their personal relationships, particularly if those relationships require significant amounts of time and energy.
One study found that many soldiers reported feeling guilty about neglecting family responsibilities while away from home. Some also expressed frustration about how military life can interfere with family activities like holidays or birthdays.
There are ways that soldiers can navigate these conflicts and maintain healthy intimacy both during and after their service.
Communication Strategies
Communication is essential for maintaining a strong relationship with loved ones while serving abroad. Soldiers who want to stay connected should find creative ways to check in regularly and express affection. They might send handwritten letters or emails, exchange photos or videos, or make phone calls at set times each day or week. It's also important to listen carefully to what their partner has to say and respond thoughtfully. Some couples use Skype or other video chat services to "be present" together while apart, which can help bridge the distance between them. Another approach is to schedule regular date nights or special occasions that allow the couple to connect emotionally despite being physically apart. This could involve watching movies or shows together, playing games online, or doing virtual activities like cooking or crafting projects.
Effective communication requires patience, understanding, and willingness to compromise on both sides.
Time Management
Time management strategies can also be helpful when navigating the demands of military life and intimate partnerships. One approach is to plan ahead for upcoming deployments by setting aside dedicated time for personal relationships beforehand.
A soldier might arrange a trip or vacation with their spouse before they leave for deployment so that they have something to look forward to and anticipate.
Some couples choose to make intentional decisions about how much time they will spend together versus alone during periods of separation. This could mean agreeing to limit socializing or working outside the home, reserving certain days of the week for each other, or taking turns making sacrifices.
It may be necessary to seek outside support from family members, friends, or counselors who can provide emotional support and guidance during difficult times.
How do soldiers negotiate intimacy when personal and professional priorities conflict?
Soldiers may find it challenging to navigate their personal relationships while also fulfilling their professional responsibilities, leading to conflicts between these two important areas of life. This can be especially difficult for those who have recently been deployed, as they may struggle with reintegrating into civilian life after experiencing trauma or stress on the battlefield. One common way that soldiers deal with this issue is by setting boundaries with loved ones regarding how much time they are available outside of work hours.