Trauma is a psychological state that can be characterized as an emotional response to a highly stressful event that threatens the individual's physical and mental wellbeing. Traumatic experiences often involve sudden and unexpected events that are outside of one's control, such as natural disasters, accidents, assaults, violence, or loss of loved ones. These events may have long-lasting effects on the individual's life and can cause symptoms such as anxiety, depression, insomnia, flashbacks, avoidance behaviors, and hypervigilance. One aspect of trauma that has received less attention in research is how it impacts erotic trust, which is defined as the mutual trust between partners during sexual encounters. Erotic trust involves feeling safe, comfortable, accepted, and desired without fear of being judged or rejected.
Continuity of erotic trust refers to the continuation of this mutual trust throughout a sexual relationship. It requires open communication, honesty, respect, empathy, and vulnerability from both partners.
Traumatic experiences can disrupt this continuity by creating a sense of distrust, insecurity, and fear that can interfere with intimacy.
Individuals who have experienced trauma may struggle with feelings of betrayal, shame, guilt, or self-blame, which can make them hesitant to share their true desires and needs with their partner. They may also experience difficulty regulating their emotions and sensory responses, leading to increased arousal or decreased desire. This can create an environment where the partner feels unsupported, confused, and alienated, leading to further disruption of erotic trust.
One way in which trauma can disrupt erotic trust is through the activation of the body's fight-or-flight response during sexual encounters. Trauma survivors often experience heightened physiological reactions to stress, including increased heart rate, sweating, and muscle tension. These physical symptoms can lead to feelings of anxiety, panic, and fear, making it difficult for them to fully engage in sexual activities.
Trauma can lead to difficulties with trust in general, as survivors may be wary of opening up to others out of fear of rejection or abandonment. These trust issues can extend into the bedroom, making it challenging for them to feel comfortable sharing their innermost thoughts and desires with their partner.
Trauma can cause changes in sexual behaviors that are not aligned with one's previous preferences or values. Individuals who have experienced trauma may engage in riskier sexual behaviors, such as unprotected sex or multiple partners, as a means of feeling in control or seeking validation from others. They may also have difficulty enjoying certain activities, leading to decreased motivation and interest in sex.
This can create a sense of distance between partners and diminish intimacy in the relationship.
To restore erotic trust after experiencing trauma, couples must work together to address these issues and find ways to support each other emotionally. This involves active listening, open communication, and a willingness to explore new approaches to sexual intimacy. It may also involve seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor trained in treating trauma-related disorders. With time and effort, individuals can learn to build trust again and establish a healthy, satisfying sexual relationship based on mutual respect, acceptance, and vulnerability.
How does trauma disrupt continuity of erotic trust?
Traumatic experiences can significantly impact an individual's ability to establish or maintain healthy romantic relationships due to their potential effects on erotic trust. Erotic trust refers to the sense of security and safety that develops between partners as they become more intimate with each other emotionally and physically. Trauma survivors often struggle with trust issues as a result of past abuse or neglect, which can interfere with their capacity for vulnerability and intimacy in current relationships.