Sexual inactivity is a common problem that can affect both men and women at any age. It may be caused by various factors, such as depression, anxiety, stress, low self-esteem, fear of failure, past traumatic experiences, medical conditions, medications, lack of motivation or opportunity to have sex, and so on. This condition can lead to decreased sexual desire and pleasure, causing low confidence levels during sexual interactions. Rebuilding sexual confidence after long periods of sexual inactivity requires patience, consistency, dedication, mindfulness, and self-care. Here are seven tips for rebuilding sexual confidence:
1. Identify and eliminate negative beliefs about sex: Negative beliefs, thoughts, and attitudes toward sex can make it difficult to enjoy it fully. Evaluate your views, expectations, fears, and feelings regarding sex and identify those that hinder your sexual desires and performance. Then replace them with positive ones that promote healthy intimacy, communication, vulnerability, and pleasure. For instance, instead of thinking "I'm not good enough," think "Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses; I'll learn more."
2. Set realistic goals and expectations: Setting unrealistic goals and expectations can cause frustration, leading to further decline in sexual confidence. Focus on learning, practicing, and improving skills rather than achieving perfection immediately. Accept that progress takes time, effort, and practice. Instead of expecting an orgasm every time, aim to feel comfortable being naked or touching your partner.
3. Experiment with different forms of sexual expression: Sexual activity is diverse and can take many forms beyond intercourse. Explore solo masturbation, mutual masturbation, sensual massages, roleplaying, erotic stories, phone sexting, dirty talk, watching porn together, etc., to discover what works best for you and your partner. It may also help break out of routines or past patterns.
4. Communicate openly and honestly with your partner: Open communication with your partner can improve trust, understanding, and intimacy. Be candid about your insecurities, worries, preferences, boundaries, needs, etc. If necessary, discuss how you want to proceed slowly or at a specific pace. Remember that everyone learns differently - no one should feel pressured or rushed. Avoid judgment, criticism, or blame.
5. Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally boosts your overall wellbeing and enhances your sex life. Engage in physical activities, eat healthy foods, sleep well, manage stress, meditate, journal, speak positively, seek therapy, etc. It'll give you more energy, motivation, and confidence during sexual interactions.
6. Focus on pleasure rather than performance: Focusing on performance can cause pressure, anxiety, and shame, leading to poorer experiences. Instead, focus on enjoyment, exploration, connection, and intimacy. Enjoy the moment without worrying about results or 'getting it right.' Try new positions, toys, clothing, music, lubricants, etc. Don't be afraid to stop if something doesn't work or isn't comfortable.
7. Seek professional support: Professional help from a psychotherapist, sex therapist, couples counselor, or medical doctor may provide insight, advice, guidance, and practical tools to rebuild sexual confidence. They'll address underlying issues causing sexual dysfunction, improve communication skills, and teach techniques for better sexual experiences. This is especially helpful when dealing with trauma, depression, anxiety, medications, low libido, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, vaginal dryness, etc.
In conclusion, rebuilding sexual confidence after long periods of sexual inactivity requires effort, patience, mindfulness, self-care, open communication, experimentation, and a positive attitude toward sex. By following these tips, you can overcome negative beliefs, fears, expectations, and patterns, boost your overall wellbeing, and create healthier sexual relationships. Remember that everyone has different needs, desires, preferences, and abilities - embrace them all, and have fun!
What are some other ways to rebuild sexual confidence after long periods of sexual inactivity? Please share your ideas below in 3-5 sentences.