What is a soldier's duty during wartime? To serve their country and protect it against enemies that threaten its safety and security. This involves putting themselves in harm's way to ensure that their loved ones back home can live peacefully. It also requires them to be physically strong and mentally tough - they must have the courage and discipline to overcome fear and pain.
War has a significant psychological impact on soldiers which cannot be ignored. They often face trauma from witnessing death, destruction, violence, and suffering. For many soldiers, this leads to feelings of depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), substance abuse problems, and relationship difficulties.
One such difficulty is reconciling the need for emotional support from a partner with professional expectations of stoicism. Soldiers are expected to keep their emotions in check, even when facing extreme challenges. This means that they may feel isolated from their partners who may want to offer comfort or reassurance but are met with coldness or silence. As a result, relationships between soldiers and their partners can suffer. But there are ways that both parties can work together to make sure that the soldier gets the emotional support they need without compromising their duties as soldiers. Here are some strategies that can help:
1) Communicate clearly about your needs: Talk openly with your partner about what you need emotionally. Be honest about how you are feeling and why it is difficult for you to express those feelings. Let them know that you need time alone sometimes to process what you experienced during the day. Explain that this doesn't mean you don't love them - it just means you need space to deal with what you saw and felt.
2) Establish boundaries: Set clear boundaries around your emotional needs so that your partner understands what is acceptable and what isn't.
If you have nightmares after combat, let them know that you might need extra hugs or cuddling at bedtime. If you become more easily angered or irritable, tell them you will try not to take it out on them. If you need to talk about traumatic experiences, agree on specific times and places where this conversation can happen.
3) Seek professional help: Don't be afraid to seek help from a mental health professional if you are struggling with PTSD or other issues related to war. This can give you tools to manage your symptoms while also helping you build better communication skills with your partner.
4) Practice self-care: Make sure you take care of yourself physically and mentally by eating well, exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities that make you happy. This can help reduce stress levels and improve your mood overall. It can also provide some much-needed downtime away from the demands of duty.
5) Connect with others: Stay connected to family and friends outside of work and relationships. Spend time with people who make you laugh or share similar interests. Join support groups for veterans or attend therapy sessions with others like yourself. Connecting with people going through similar experiences can provide a sense of community and understanding that is essential when dealing with trauma.
By working together, soldiers and their partners can find ways to reconcile emotional needs without compromising professional duties. With patience, compassion, and communication, they can develop a strong bond that supports both parties during and after deployment.
How do soldiers reconcile the need for emotional support from a partner with professional expectations of stoicism?
Research shows that military personnel often face challenges when balancing their personal lives with their work duties, which include maintaining a strong sense of self-control and independence as they carry out orders. They may feel pressure to suppress any negative feelings in order to appear brave and capable, even if this means hiding stress or sadness from loved ones. This can be particularly difficult when it comes to intimate relationships where partners may perceive a lack of openness or vulnerability.