The subject matter is very broad. There are many factors that can lead to combat-related relational strain, such as: PTSD, traumatic brain injury, physical injuries, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, stress, fear, anger, guilt, shame, isolation, alienation, disillusionment, betrayal, mistrust, etc.
Most couples experience some form of relationship conflict after returning from deployment. This essay will explore strategies for rebuilding trust after combat-related relational strain.
1. Open communication
Acknowledging the issue is crucial to resolving it. Sit down together and talk about what happened during the time apart. Share your feelings and experiences without blame or judgment. Be honest and open, even if it's difficult. It is important to be respectful when discussing sensitive topics. Listen actively to understand each other's perspective and validate their emotions. Establish clear boundaries for privacy and confidentiality. Respect the other person's needs and opinions. Take turns talking. Don't interrupt or give advice unless asked for. Use 'I' statements rather than 'you' statements. Allow time to process information before responding.
2. Seek professional help
It may seem embarrassing, but therapy is an effective way to address deep-seated issues in a neutral environment. A skilled counselor can guide you through challenges that may otherwise overwhelm you. They can provide objective feedback, helpful insights, and practical tools. Talk therapy helps couples identify negative patterns, resolve conflicts, and learn healthy communication skills. If one or both partners have mental health problems, such as PTSD or traumatic brain injury, they need specialized treatment. Therapists are trained in military culture and can connect with service members on their level.
3. Reaffirm commitment
Reassure each other of your love and devotion to the relationship. Show affection through words and actions. Focus on positive things instead of dwelling on negatives. Celebrate victories and accomplishments. Make plans for the future together. Remember why you fell in love and what makes you compatible. Share intimate moments like cuddling, kissing, hugging, holding hands, etc. Be creative and spontaneous in showing appreciation. Do fun activities, date nights, vacations, or new experiences.
4. Practice self-care
Take care of yourself emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, socially, and intellectually. Exercise regularly. Eat well, sleep soundly, practice meditation or prayer. Spend quality time alone doing hobbies or relaxing. Have a support system of friends, family, or colleagues. Read books or articles about relationships. Join online communities or attend workshops. Engage in productive activities, like volunteering or charity work. Avoid alcohol, drugs, pornography, gambling, or risk-taking behaviors that could compromise trust. Learn how to manage stress and anxiety.
5. Compromise and cooperation
Be flexible when it comes to household chores, finances, child-rearing, leisure time, etc. Respect differences but try to find common ground. Work as a team to achieve goals and resolve problems. Don't expect perfection; accept flaws and imperfections. Be willing to make sacrifices for the greater good of your relationship. Consider each other's needs and feelings before making decisions. Negotiate fairly and respectfully. Agree on rules and boundaries for sex, money, children, communication, etc.
6. Recognize progress
Celebrate small victories along the way. Notice improvements over time. Express gratitude for your partner's efforts and commitment. Give constructive feedback rather than criticism or demands. Keep track of positive changes to build confidence and motivation. Look back at where you started from and compare with now. Share fond memories and reminders of why you fell in love. Rekindle intimacy by spending more quality time together, expressing affection, and engaging in physical touch.
What strategies are most effective for rebuilding trust after combat-related relational strain?
Relational tension is common following traumatic events like military combat. Rebuilding trust can be a complex process that requires patience, understanding, and effort from both partners involved. One of the most effective strategies is open communication, where both parties express their feelings and thoughts freely without fear of judgment. This involves active listening, empathy, and acknowledging each other's perspectives.