In the midst of combat, soldiers must maintain a degree of emotional distance from their fellow warriors to ensure that they can perform their duties effectively and keep themselves safe. This requires a certain amount of psychological detachment from the fear, danger, and chaos surrounding them.
This same tendency towards isolation also makes it difficult to form close bonds with others, including romantic partners back home. For service members who are away from their loved ones for extended periods of time, this can lead to feelings of loneliness and disconnection.
The act of killing another human being is inherently traumatic, and many veterans struggle with PTSD symptoms such as nightmares, anxiety, depression, and insomnia after returning from battle. These symptoms often manifest in interpersonal relationships, leading to difficulty trusting others and avoiding intimacy. Many veterans report feeling numb or distant emotionally, making it challenging to connect with their loved ones.
Some service members find that the intensity of combat helps them to feel more alive and connected to others than ever before. The shared experience of facing death together can create powerful bonds between soldiers, even across genders and nationalities. Some military couples even report that their marriages have been strengthened by the challenges of long-distance separation and combat deployment.
These experiences are not without their own set of difficulties, as survivor's guilt, shame, and other negative emotions can complicate intimate relationships.
Balancing the need for closeness with the emotional self-containment necessary for survival in combat is a delicate balance that requires constant attention and effort. Veterans must learn how to navigate their own emotions and communicate openly with their partners about their needs and desires. With time and patience, many couples are able to find ways to bridge the divide and maintain strong connections despite the challenges posed by war.
How do service members balance the desire for closeness with the emotional self-containment necessary for survival in combat?
Service members have many ways of balancing their need for closeness and the emotional self-containment needed for survival in combat. Some may choose to maintain close relationships with family and friends before deployment and keep them updated on their situation throughout the duration of their time in the military. Others may find solace in activities such as writing letters or keeping a journal that help them stay connected to loved ones while remaining emotionally distant from those around them.