How do LGBT individuals within monastic communities experience the intersection of spirituality, repression, and self-awareness?
The purpose of this paper is to explore how LGBT individuals within monastic communities navigate the intersections between their identities and spiritual practices. Through interviews with four LGBT Buddhist monastics, I will examine how they negotiate their gender identity and sexual orientation while engaging in meditation and other forms of contemplative practice.
I will analyze the ways in which these individuals view themselves within the context of a religious tradition that often does not affirm their identities.
LGBT Monastics and Spiritual Practice
The first section of this article will focus on the specific experiences of LGBT Buddhists who have chosen to live as monks or nuns. These individuals must balance their sexual and romantic desires with the expectations of their community and the teachings of their tradition. For some, this means finding ways to express their sexuality without violating vows of celibacy or causing harm to others. Others may choose to remain celibate but still feel the pull of their desires. As one interviewee put it, "It's like being an oyster, trying to open up and reveal my true pearl without getting crushed."
Repression and Self-Awareness
In the second part of this essay, we will look at how repression affects the self-awareness of LGBT monastics. Many feel that they are forced to hide parts of themselves for fear of being rejected by their peers or the wider religious community. This can lead to feelings of shame and guilt, as well as difficulties in maintaining a healthy sense of self-esteem.
Many also report that their spiritual practices help them to better understand and accept themselves, despite the challenges they face. One interviewee said, "My time in meditation has allowed me to see myself clearly, warts and all. I can accept who I am without judging myself too harshly."
The final section of this paper will explore how these individuals navigate the tension between their identities and their spiritual practice. Some find ways to integrate their queerness into their practice, while others keep it separate. Some use their identity to inform their practice, while others try to leave it behind when they enter the monastery.
Each individual must decide what works best for them based on their personal circumstances and beliefs.
LGBT monasticism is a complex topic with no easy answers. By examining the experiences of four Buddhist monastics, we can gain insight into how these individuals balance multiple aspects of their lives and find meaning within a tradition that may not always affirm their identities.
How do LGBT individuals within monastic communities experience the intersection of spirituality, repression, and self-awareness?
LGBT individuals within monastic communities may experience tensions between their sexual identities and religious beliefs due to the repressive nature of traditional monasticism. This can lead to feelings of conflict and confusion as they attempt to reconcile their inner selves with external expectations and norms. Additionally, social stigma surrounding LGBT identities can further compound these issues by creating an atmosphere of shame and secrecy that is difficult to navigate.