Childhood neglect is an emotional trauma that can have profound effects on all aspects of one's life, including their future romantic and sexual relationships. It is defined as "the failure to provide for a child's basic physical, emotional, and/or social needs, resulting in serious impairment" (Margolin & Gordis, 2018, p. xii). This may include physical abuse, psychological abuse, or abandonment, which can damage a person's sense of self-worth, trust, and ability to form healthy attachments. Childhood neglect has been linked to a range of negative outcomes, such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and poor interpersonal skills (Felitti et al., 1998; Kendall-Tackett, 2014; Margolin & Gordis, 2018).
Little research has explored how childhood neglect affects sexual trust specifically.
In terms of sexuality and intimacy, childhood neglect can result in distorted views of oneself and others. Neglected children often lack secure attachment figures who help them develop a sense of self and identity (Bowlby, 1969). This may lead them to seek approval and validation from outside sources, such as partners, in order to feel loved and accepted.
This approach can create dependencies and codependency, making it difficult to establish healthy boundaries in adult relationships.
Neglected individuals may also have difficulty trusting partners due to their past experiences with unreliable caregivers. Trust involves feeling safe and comfortable enough to open up emotionally and physically, but without consistent support and guidance during critical developmental stages, they may struggle to develop the necessary trust muscles (Margolin & Gordis, 2018).
Trauma can trigger the fight-or-flight response, leading to feelings of fear and mistrust (Kaplan & Sadock, 2015), which can be exacerbated by sexual encounters that are perceived as threatening or overwhelming.
Neglected individuals may also have trouble identifying their needs and communicating them clearly, which can negatively impact sexual relationships. They may become accustomed to putting other people's needs before their own, leading to resentment and frustration when those needs go unmet (Firestone, 2016).
They may have difficulty expressing their desires and preferences sexually, creating misunderstandings and disconnection between partners.
Childhood neglect can damage a person's ability to form close attachments and experience intimacy, including sexual intimacy. Those who have experienced neglect may need extra time, patience, and understanding from partners to overcome these challenges, while seeking professional help for healing and growth. By recognizing and addressing the effects of neglect on sexual trust, we can work towards healthier and more fulfilling romantic and sexual relationships.
How do childhood neglect experiences affect sexual trust?
Childhood neglect is associated with a variety of negative outcomes throughout life, including lower self-esteem, increased depression and anxiety, and difficulties forming secure attachments in romantic relationships (Rosenberg et al. , 2016). Neglected children may struggle with trusting others because they have not been given consistent support and care when needed, which can lead them to believe that their needs will never be met by others.