Soldiers are trained to be disciplined and emotionally detached when it comes to their work.
This does not mean they cannot form attachments while deployed. As human beings, they are susceptible to forming close bonds with those around them, especially if there is an underlying need for companionship or survival. In this article, we will explore how soldiers can differentiate between attachment arising from these basic needs and genuine emotional desire.
Let's consider attachment itself. Attachment refers to the deep connection that people feel towards others, which includes physical, mental, and psychological components. It often leads to feelings of dependence, comfort, security, and safety, but can also lead to possessiveness, jealousy, and fear. When applied to military personnel, attachment can have significant consequences, including risking mission success and creating conflicts within teams.
The primary motivation behind any attachment is survival. Humans are social creatures who rely on each other for support and protection, both physically and mentally. This is why soldiers may develop strong attachments during deployments, as they are removed from their usual support networks and surrounded by strangers in a potentially dangerous environment. In such situations, forming attachments with fellow soldiers and local civilians provides a sense of security and belonging.
Soldiers must be aware that some attachments may arise out of necessity rather than genuine interest.
Soldiers may bond with someone simply because they share the same living quarters, eat meals together, or work side-by-side without having much else in common. These relationships are based on practicality rather than emotion, and should not be confused with true romantic or platonic connections.
When it comes to distinguishing between survival attachments and genuine desires, soldiers must ask themselves questions like:
- Do I see this person as an equal?
- Am I seeking a deeper level of intimacy?
- Do I feel comfortable expressing my needs openly?
- Is there mutual respect and trust?
- Can I envision myself outside of our current context?
- Are we sharing similar goals and values?
- Have I considered how this relationship might affect my career trajectory?
- Am I willing to compromise on certain aspects of our relationship?
If the answer to most or all of these questions is no, then the attachment may be rooted in survival needs rather than genuine desire. On the other hand, if the answer is yes, then it's worth exploring further to see if it can evolve into something more meaningful.
Soldier attachments can arise from a variety of factors, including practical concerns and emotional vulnerability. By asking themselves critical questions about their motivations and expectations, soldiers can differentiate between attachment arising from survival needs versus genuine emotional desire.
Establishing healthy boundaries and being honest with oneself and others is key to forming satisfying and fulfilling relationships while deployed.
How do soldiers differentiate between attachment arising from survival needs versus genuine emotional desire?
In situations where people experience intense and prolonged stressors such as being at war, it can be difficult to distinguish between attachment that is based on survival needs versus one that is founded on genuine emotional connection. This difficulty is due to the fact that when individuals are faced with extreme conditions, they often feel helpless and their ability to make rational decisions is impaired.