Couples who have experienced deployment are often faced with unique challenges to their relationship. One of the most significant challenges is the need to rebuild relational identity after the separation due to deployment. This can be especially difficult when each partner's experience during deployment was different, leading to emotional divergence. It is important for these couples to work together to rebuild their shared identity and create a unified vision for their future. This article will provide strategies for how couples can navigate this process successfully.
Communication
The first step in rebuilding relational identity is communication. Each partner should feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings about their time apart. They should also be willing to listen actively and openly to each other's experiences. This requires creating a safe space where both partners feel heard and understood. Couples may benefit from seeking counseling or therapy to help facilitate this dialogue.
Shared Experiences
Another strategy is to create shared experiences. This could include planning trips, vacations, or activities that they can do together as a couple. These experiences can serve as bonding opportunities and allow them to connect on a deeper level. This can be particularly helpful if one partner had a more active role in the military than the other. Sharing in these experiences can help create a sense of unity and commonality between them.
Gratitude
Showing gratitude for each other's sacrifices and efforts is another way to build relational identity. Partners who have been deployed should appreciate the support provided by those who stayed behind. Likewise, those at home should recognize the difficulties faced by their spouse while away. Expressing gratitude can help foster appreciation and strengthen the relationship.
New Roles
Deployment can often lead to changes in family roles.
One parent may take on a greater share of childcare responsibilities during deployment. It is important for couples to negotiate new roles and work together to ensure that everyone feels valued and supported. This can help rebuild relational identity and create a stronger foundation for the future.
Rebuilding relational identity after deployment can be challenging, but it is essential for maintaining a healthy and strong relationship. Couples must communicate openly, create shared experiences, express gratitude for each other's efforts, and renegotiate roles. With time and effort, this process can help couples emerge from deployment with a renewed sense of connection and purpose.
How do couples rebuild relational identity when deployment has caused parallel but emotionally divergent life trajectories?
One common way that couples can build relational identity is by acknowledging and accepting differences that have emerged during the time of separation due to deployment. This involves actively listening to each other's experiences and sharing their feelings and perspectives on how the separation has affected them individually and as a couple. It may also involve seeking counseling or therapy together to help address any issues that arise related to communication or trust.