No one is born knowing how to please another person physically. It takes practice, patience, and communication. Here are four key steps to getting what you want and need from a partner during sex, without being rude.
What do you like? Tell them! Communicating desires does not mean being demanding. Ask for exactly what you want; don't assume they know. They might never have been asked before. Be specific about what feels good, where, when, how much pressure, whether it's fast or slow. Don't wait until things aren't working for your satisfaction; let them know. If their touch isn't hitting the spot, redirect them to an area that does. Keep asking them to adjust as necessary. Don't be shy if something feels wrong. Be clear: this is YOUR body, YOU get to decide. If they aren't responding well, try different positions or locations.
Don't like? Say so. Even if it feels awkward to say "no," saying so keeps you comfortable and safe. You can tell them you just don't like a certain part of their body or what they're doing without offending them. Let them know why, too. Maybe you feel exposed, or vulnerable in a way that makes you uncomfortable. No reason to pretend otherwise. Your pleasure matters most. Try new ways of pleasuring each other. Experiment with pace, rhythm, intensity. Talk about likes/dislikes throughout—don't save all criticism for after. Make requests instead of criticisms: 'I love how you touched me there, but I wish we could go slower.' Then explain why: it made your body tense up. They might appreciate feedback on how to improve.
Your body is speaking! It wants attention. Use its language. Breathe deeply, moan, groan, make noises. Squeeze, clench, flex, relax. Respond to their movements actively. Tell them when it feels good. Give them compliments, too. Pause for reactions, noticing every detail: skin, breath, movement. Touch them back, show your passion. Their hands, arms, legs can say much more than words. Show them how to please you better, by example.
Direct doesn't mean rude. Be generous in communication. Don't be afraid to ask for something specific, like kissing you harder or taking off their clothes before touching you. Ask for more of whatever feels amazing. If they do well, praise them and thank them. Reassure them if they hesitate. Never assume they know; ask. It may take time to build trust, but saying exactly what you want takes the guesswork out. Keep trying until you get what you need.