Tools can be customized for consent. Toys have become more popular in recent years as many people explore new ways to play and learn about themselves and others. However, some tools are inherently nonconsensual, and it is essential to know how to handle them safely. For example, a person who has a history of trauma may feel uncomfortable around certain items such as leather restraints or whips. By communicating verbally beforehand, one can avoid triggering someone's negative response. If someone asks you to stop using a specific tool during a scene, respect their wishes and find another way to engage with them. The same goes for when they request a type of sensation. Some players color-code their toy bags—or embed symbols into rope handles—to signal tool use preference: light, medium, or intense. This reduces on-the-spot confusion. Tool metadata (visual or tactile) eases consent in multi-tool scenes. When engaging in a scene involving multiple participants, each player should know which tools everyone else wants to include in playtime. Tools can be marked with icons indicating what kind of play they involve. This allows everyone involved to make an informed decision about whether they want that particular experience or not. Another option is marking tools with colors, emojis, or numbers based on intensity level. For instance, red means hardcore play while green indicates softness. Talking openly about desires and boundaries helps ensure mutually pleasurable experiences. Use words like 'please', 'thank you,' and 'stop.' These phrases help set expectations and create space for communication if something feels wrong. Ultimately, customizing tools for consent enhances the BDSM community by fostering trust, safety, and respect among all parties involved. It shows that every person has different needs and preferences, so we must communicate clearly to meet those needs without judgment or shame.
Tool use preference: light, medium, or intense
Visual or tactile tool metadata
Multi-tool scenes
Icons indicating what kind of play
Informed decision about desired play
Marked with colors, emojis, or numbers
Softness vs. hardcore play
Expectation setting using words like please, thank you, stop
Fostering trust, safety, and respect
Different needs and preferences