Masculinity is associated with strength, bravery, independence, assertiveness, risk-taking, competitiveness, leadership, success, ambition, responsibility, authority, dominance, power, control, rationality, stoicism, and emotional suppression. In recent years, there has been an increasing awareness that these characteristics can lead to harmful consequences for both individuals and society at large, such as increased aggression, violence, bullying, and inequality.
Many men still strive to uphold traditional gender roles, despite feeling the pressure to do so. They may experience relational pressures stemming from their perception of masculinity as requiring them to perform well in various areas of life.
They may feel pressure to be financially successful, sexually active, physically fit, emotionally strong, or socially dominant, which can create tension in relationships. This essay will examine how men's association of masculinity with performance affects their intimate lives, exploring how it impacts sexual desire, communication patterns, relationship maintenance strategies, conflict resolution techniques, and self-image.
Sexual Desire
One way in which relational pressures stem from men's association of masculinity with performance is through sexual desire. Men who believe they must prove themselves sexually by performing well in bed may become frustrated when their partners are not satisfied with their efforts. They may try to satisfy their partner without regard for their own pleasure or satisfaction, leading to resentment and a lack of connection. As a result, they may seek out new sexual partners or engage in risky behaviors like infidelity or pornography use to achieve what they perceive as "manly" satisfaction. This can damage trust and intimacy in relationships, leading to feelings of shame and isolation.
Communication Patterns
Another way relational pressures manifest is through communication patterns. Men who feel they must always appear confident and in control may struggle to express vulnerability or admit mistakes, even if doing so would improve communication and reduce misunderstandings. Conversely, those who fear appearing weak or needy may avoid sharing their emotions altogether, creating distance and misunderstanding between them and their partner.
Men may feel pressure to maintain dominance over conversations, using one-upping tactics that alienate others rather than build mutual understanding. These dynamics can create tension and conflict, leading to negative emotional consequences such as anger, anxiety, and depression.
Relationship Maintenance Strategies
Men's perception of masculinity also affects how they approach relationship maintenance strategies. They may focus on competition, winning arguments, or proving themselves right rather than seeking compromise or empathy. This can lead to power struggles, miscommunication, and a lack of trust. Some men may prioritize work or hobbies above relationships, feeling guilty when they spend time with loved ones instead of pursuing traditional "male" activities. Others may become preoccupied with appearance, fitness, or social status, neglecting more meaningful connections. All of these behaviors undermine healthy relationships, causing loneliness, disconnection, and frustration.
Conflict Resolution Techniques
Men's association of masculinity with performance impacts their conflict resolution techniques. Those who view assertiveness as necessary for success may resort to aggression or domination in disagreements, harming both parties involved. Others may suppress their feelings, ignoring issues until they fester into larger problems, or use passive-aggressive tactics like silent treatment or stonewalling. Both approaches damage communication and intimacy, creating resentment and misunderstanding between partners. Healthier alternatives include active listening, open-ended questions, and collaborative problem-solving.
Many men struggle to adopt these strategies due to the pressure they feel to maintain dominance and control.
Relational pressures stemming from men's association of masculinity with performance create significant challenges for individuals and society at large. By acknowledging these dynamics, we can begin to challenge traditional gender roles that perpetuate harmful behavior and promote healthier relationship patterns based on mutual respect and understanding.
What relational pressures stem from men's association of masculinity with performance?
Men often associate masculinity with strength, power, dominance, and control over others, which can lead to relational pressures in various contexts such as workplace competition, sports, romantic relationships, and parenting. These pressures may manifest through feelings of obligation to perform well in all areas, conformity to stereotypical gender roles, suppression of emotion, and difficulty in expressing vulnerability.