Forgiving someone for an offense they committed is often seen as an act of kindness that helps to maintain harmony within a relationship, but it can also have negative consequences if there are no changes in behavior from the person who committed the offense. When trust has been broken, the act of forgiveness alone may be insufficient to restore stability because behavior must also change.
Imagine a couple where one partner cheated on the other. If the betraying partner only apologizes without changing their behavior, the forgiven partner may continue to feel vulnerable and untrustworthy despite the apology. This could lead to further instability and mistrust.
In order for true stability to be restored after an offense, both parties involved must work towards creating a safe and healthy environment for the relationship. The betraying partner needs to make consistent efforts to regain their partner's trust through actions rather than just words. They should demonstrate a willingness to change their behaviors and take responsibility for their actions. This could include things like being transparent about where they are going, avoiding certain people or places, or seeking counseling together. Without this commitment to change, forgiveness becomes more like letting go of anger and resentment instead of truly rebuilding trust.
Forgiveness without behavioral change also sends mixed messages to the offender. By forgiving them, you are saying that what they did was wrong and shouldn't happen again, but if they don't take steps to prove otherwise, they will likely repeat the same behavior in the future. This lack of accountability creates an imbalance in the relationship and allows the offending party to remain comfortable with their previous actions. This can lead to even greater instability and damage down the line.
While forgiveness is often seen as a necessary part of healing from an offense, it is not enough on its own to restore stability in a damaged relationship. For lasting harmony and trust, both partners need to be committed to working towards positive changes in their behavior. Without this, forgiveness can simply become a Band-Aid solution that covers up underlying issues and leaves everyone feeling unsatisfied.
How does forgiveness without behavioral change weaken the stability of restored trust?
Although forgiving is an important part of restoring trust between two people, it alone may not be enough to ensure that the relationship remains stable. Trust cannot truly be restored unless both parties are willing to take action to resolve any underlying issues that led to the breakdown in communication and commit to ongoing efforts to maintain the relationship. Behavioral changes such as actively listening, being empathetic, and demonstrating honesty and transparency can help build trust over time.