Bisexual experiences challenge traditional ideas about desire, commitment, and ethics
Bisexual people have been subject to myths, stereotypes, and misunderstandings for centuries. Many believe that bisexuals are promiscuous or unfaithful, cannot be monogamous, or swing between different genders like weathervanes. These beliefs create a stigma around bisexual individuals and can make it difficult for them to form meaningful relationships.
Bisexual people have much more diverse experiences than these stereotypes suggest, which problematizes the assumptions made about their desires, relational commitments, and social ethics.
Desire
The idea that bisexual people lack loyalty is based on the notion that they must always choose one gender over another. This assumption ignores the fact that many bisexuals do form long-term, committed relationships with either men or women. According to research, bisexuals who identify as both homosexual and heterosexual are equally likely to report being in a relationship, compared to those who identify solely as one orientation. Moreover, studies show that bisexuals are less likely than lesbians or gay men to experience infidelity in their current relationship. Instead of choosing one gender, bisexuals may simply enjoy multiple types of intimacy simultaneously. They might prefer to date someone of the same gender, but find themselves attracted to someone else at work or school. Their desires don't fit neatly into any category, challenging our understanding of desire itself.
Commitment
Some argue that bisexuals are unable to form lasting relationships because of their supposed promiscuity or indecision. In reality, however, bisexuals face unique obstacles when trying to navigate monogamy. Their partners may feel threatened by outside attractions, leading to jealousy and mistrust. Bisexuals also tend to be open to new experiences, which can make them uncomfortable with the restrictions of traditional relationships. This doesn't mean they are inherently uncommitted; rather, it shows that society needs to reconsider what commitment means for all individuals. Perhaps true commitment lies not in sexual exclusivity, but in trust, communication, and mutual respect. By broadening our definition of commitment, we could better support bisexuals in healthy romantic relationships.
Ethics
The moral implications of bisexuality go beyond the bedroom. Many argue that bisexuals have a "duty" to choose one identity over another, and use this choice as an excuse to dismiss their experiences. But bisexual people often face discrimination from both straight and gay communities, making them feel like outsiders no matter where they turn. This can lead to self-doubt, shame, and even mental health issues.
Many bisexual individuals are fluid in their gender expression, leading some to question whether they truly belong in either community at all. Bisexuals should not have to prove their authenticity, nor do they owe any community anything other than honesty about who they are. Instead, allies should work to create safe spaces for bisexuals to explore their identities without judgment or pressure.
How do bisexual experiences problematize normative assumptions about desire, relational commitment, and social ethics?
Although society has become increasingly accepting of LGBTQ+ people, there are still many misconceptions regarding bisexuality that need to be addressed. One common misconception is that bisexuals can only have romantic relationships with two people at once, but this is not true. Bisexual individuals may have multiple partners or none at all.