Sexuality is a deeply personal subject that involves emotional, physical, and psychological aspects. It can be influenced by many factors such as age, gender identity, culture, upbringing, education, religion, and more. When it comes to romantic relationships, people often experience a mixture of different desires and needs, which may include both sexually motivated acts and intimate behaviors designed to strengthen the bond between partners.
Dependency can cloud these needs and confuse them with relational approval. In this article, I will discuss how dependency blurs erotic needs with relational approval and how it affects individuals' perception of their own sexuality.
Let's define what dependency means. Dependency refers to a state where an individual relies heavily on another person for fulfillment, validation, and support. They may have low self-esteem, lack confidence, and feel like they cannot function without the other person. This often leads to clingy behavior, neediness, and anxiety about losing the relationship. People who are dependent may also have difficulty expressing their wants and needs openly, fearful of rejection or disappointment.
When it comes to sexuality, dependence can lead to confusion. An emotionally dependent partner may view sexual activity as a way to maintain closeness with their partner rather than seeking pleasure. Their erotic needs become less important than the relationship itself, leading to feelings of guilt, shame, or embarrassment if they desire something outside of the norm. As a result, they may suppress those desires or try to change themselves to meet their partner's expectations.
A woman who depends on her partner financially may believe that she must perform certain sexual acts to keep him happy, even though she doesn't enjoy them.
When someone is not emotionally dependent but sexually so, they may use sex to gain approval from their partner. They may engage in behaviors that go against their true desires just to please their partner, such as going along with certain fantasies or activities they don't want to do. This can lead to frustration, resentment, and dissatisfaction over time. In both cases, dependency creates a complex mix of emotions and motivations, making it hard to discern genuine erotic desires from relational ones.
Another factor that affects this dynamic is gender roles and stereotypes. Society often imposes strict norms on what men and women should do in bed, which can further confuse individuals who struggle with dependency. Men are expected to be dominant and assertive, while women are supposed to be submissive and passive. If a man is not aggressive enough during intercourse, his partner may feel rejected or unattractive. Similarly, a woman who enjoys dominating her partner may face criticism for being too masculine or selfish. These societal pressures add another layer of complexity to an already complicated situation.
Dependency blurs erotic needs with relational approval because people rely heavily on external validation to define themselves. When they lack confidence and sense of worthiness, they seek validation through relationships, including sex.
This approach leads to unsatisfying sexual experiences and can damage intimacy over time. To overcome these challenges, individuals must learn to trust themselves, communicate openly with partners, and work toward healthy boundaries and independence. With time and effort, they can reclaim their sexuality and rediscover the joy and excitement of true desire.
How does dependency blur erotic needs with relational approval?
One of the most common reasons for the blurring of erotic needs and relational approval is dependency. Dependency can arise from various factors such as low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, and a need for validation and approval. In relationships, individuals who are dependent may feel that they must please their partner to receive love and affection, leading to a distortion of their sexual desires.