In any relationship, there is always an underlying tension between one's conscious desires and unconscious desires that can lead to problems if not addressed properly. When one partner suppresses their own unconscious desires, it creates a psychological barrier between them and their partner, which can cause distance and even resentment. This distance is often caused by the fear of being judged or ridiculed for what they feel, leading to a sense of isolation within the relationship.
The suppression of unconscious desires can manifest itself in various ways.
Someone may be attracted to another person but choose not to pursue them because they are afraid of how their partner would react. They might also hide their true feelings from their partner out of shame or embarrassment. In this case, the individual will still feel the attraction and desire towards their partner while also feeling guilty about it, creating a distance between them.
Another way that suppression of unconscious desires can create distance is through sexual repression. Some people may have fantasies or desires that they do not share with their partner out of fear of judgment or rejection. As a result, they become less invested in the physical intimacy of the relationship, making them seem distant and aloof. The lack of open communication can make the other person feel rejected or unimportant, causing further strain on the relationship.
Some individuals may suppress their emotional needs, such as the need for companionship or affection, due to fear of appearing weak or vulnerable. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and disconnection, leading them to seek solace elsewhere. It can also affect the level of trust and intimacy in the relationship, making it harder to connect emotionally.
It's important to note that suppression of unconscious desires can also happen unintentionally. A person may not even realize that they are doing it until they see the effect it has on their relationship. This can cause frustration and resentment for both partners, leading to misunderstandings and mistrust.
The solution to these problems is to be honest and open about one's desires and feelings, even if they seem taboo or embarrassing. Communication is key in any healthy relationship, and this includes being able to express oneself without fear of judgement or criticism. By doing so, couples can work together to find compromises that allow them to meet each other's needs while still maintaining boundaries and respect.
How does suppression of unconscious desires create distance in relationships?
Suppressing unconscious desires can create distance between two people in a relationship because it prevents them from fully expressing themselves and their needs, leading to misunderstandings and frustration. It also creates an atmosphere of secrecy and lies that erodes trust and intimacy over time. When one partner suppresses their desires for fear of rejection or judgment by the other, they may feel resentful and disconnected, which further contributes to distance.