What are the ways that individuals analyze the potential emotional costs and benefits of forming close romantic bonds?
Humans have an innate desire for connection and affiliation. Relationships can provide comfort, love, support, and companionship, but they also come with inherent vulnerabilities and risks. People may feel anxious about losing their autonomy or being hurt when opening themselves up to another person. They may be unsure how much to reveal about their true selves and whether it is safe to do so. The level of trust needed for deep relational closeness may require them to take greater emotional risks than usual.
Definition of emotional risk and reward
Emotional risk involves the possibility of experiencing negative emotions such as anxiety, fear, sadness, shame, jealousy, or rejection. Emotional reward refers to positive feelings such as joy, happiness, satisfaction, fulfillment, safety, and security. These concepts apply both to individuals and to their relationships with others. It is essential to consider both sides of this equation before engaging in intimate relationships.
Assessing emotional risks
Individuals assess emotional risks by evaluating the likelihood of negative outcomes in a relationship based on past experiences, current circumstances, and future expectations. They look at factors like the other person's availability, commitment, reliability, compatibility, and communication style. This can involve weighing the pros and cons, considering what they stand to gain or lose, and deciding if the benefits outweigh the costs.
Someone might worry about being rejected, abandoned, or betrayed in a romantic relationship, especially after a previous disappointment. They may hesitate to open up emotionally until they feel secure that the other person will not hurt them.
Assessing emotional rewards
Individuals evaluate emotional rewards by anticipating how good it would feel to be close and connected with another person. They consider things like shared interests, physical attraction, mutual respect, common values, and trustworthiness. They may also think about what they could learn from each other, how much support they could provide one another, and whether they could grow together emotionally over time. Someone might seek deep relational closeness because they crave companionship, love, and acceptance and believe that it would bring them greater happiness and fulfillment than staying alone.
Evaluating potential partners
Before entering into a committed relationship, people often try to determine if their partner is likely to provide positive emotional rewards. They may observe the other person's behavior and listen for clues about their intentions and motivations. They might ask questions to get a better sense of who they are and what they want from life. If something seems off or contradictory, they may avoid pursuing the relationship further. They may also look at their own preferences and desires and decide if the other person meets their needs for intimacy and connection.
Weighing risks versus rewards
After assessing both sides of the equation, individuals must decide whether they are willing to take on the emotional risk in order to experience the reward of deep relational closeness. This decision involves balancing short-term satisfaction against long-term wellbeing, considering whether the benefits outweigh the costs, and weighing immediate gratification against future consequences. It can be difficult to know ahead of time which choice will lead to greater happiness, but some people find that taking calculated risks pays off in the end. Others may choose caution and opt for lower-risk relationships to protect themselves from possible disappointments.
How do individuals assess the emotional risks and emotional rewards associated with deep relational closeness?
The amount of closeness that an individual is willing to have in a relationship depends on their perception of emotional risk and reward. The degree of perceived risk and reward varies from person to person and is influenced by various factors such as cultural norms, personal experiences, and past relationships. Some people may be more comfortable being emotionally close while others may prefer maintaining some distance.