Some Use "Check-In Codes" Mid-Play
A simple phrase—"Routine?"—may serve as a consent question, Answering "Yes, Ma'am" affirms flow, If discomfort arises, "Routine?" becomes a safe word trigger, Language systems can be built subtly into games.
What is a check-in code?
A consent check-in code, sometimes called an enforceable language, is a set of signals that couples use to communicate about their comfort levels during play without interrupting the action or breaking character. These codes are often used in BDSM scenarios where partners may engage in rough or intense activities, such as bondage, sensation play, or pain play. By using a pre-established system of coded terms, they can communicate their desires and boundaries quickly and safely while maintaining the mood and intensity of the scene.
How do I establish a check-in code with my partner?
Establishing a check-in code should begin long before any sexual activity occurs. Discuss what types of play you're comfortable with and how you might like to express your limits within that context. Talk about what words or phrases would feel best for both of you and make sure they aren't offensive or unpleasant sounding. Once you have agreed upon a set of words, practice them together so they become natural during play. This will help avoid confusion or awkwardness if one partner forgets the words at a crucial moment.
What are some examples of check-in codes?
Some common examples of check-in codes include: Red (stop immediately), Yellow (slow down), Green (continue), and Check-In (pause and evaluate). Other options could be "I'm not okay" or "Stop now." It's important to choose words that feel right for you both—don't hesitate to invent your own unique terminology.
When should we use our check-in code?
The best time to use a check-in code is when you need it most! If something unexpected happens during play that makes you uncomfortable, stop and ask your partner if they are also feeling discomfort. Use your code word(s) to signal this. Don't wait until you reach an extreme point before communicating your needs. Instead, try using the code throughout the scene as needed to keep things flowing smoothly.
Is there a way to build language systems into games?
Yes! Many board games and card games already feature special rules for taking turns or passing cards around in specific ways. These can be easily adapted to incorporate a consent-based system by adding extra steps or restrictions based on how players answer certain questions. For example, instead of just asking someone if they want to pass their turn, add an additional step where they must say "Red" if they don't wish to move forward. Incorporating these simple changes can add depth and complexity to any game while still allowing players to remain in character.
Can I use check-in codes outside of BDSM scenes?
Absolutely! Any activity that involves physical or emotional risk can benefit from a pre-established set of signals. This includes roleplaying, wrestling, spanking, or even simply flirting with a new partner. By establishing clear lines of communication early on, you can avoid misunderstandings and awkward situations later on. It's always better to err on the side of caution than to put yourself at risk.