In military life, couples experience unique challenges due to their occupation's inherent stressors that can impact their relationship. While many couples successfully manage these challenges, others may struggle to maintain healthy relationships. One aspect of this challenge is the way shared traumatic experiences can affect how they interact within the relationship. Shared trauma refers to events that both partners experience together, such as deployments, injuries, deaths, or disasters. These experiences can have long-lasting effects on both individuals physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Shared trauma can lead to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, and even suicide attempts. This article will explore how shared trauma influences relational hierarchies, sexual dynamics, and emotional interdependence in military couples.
Relational Hierarchies
Shared trauma can alter the power dynamics between military spouses. In a military couple where one partner has experienced combat trauma, they may take on more responsibility for keeping the family safe and secure. As a result, there is an imbalance in decision making power, with the partner who hasn't experienced trauma becoming submissive to the other. This can create tension and resentment, leading to fights and misunderstandings.
Military life requires both partners to be independent, which can further exacerbate existing power dynamics. Without proper communication and support, this can lead to feelings of isolation, loneliness, and fear. It also creates distance between partners, causing them to feel disconnected from each other. To address this issue, couples need to communicate openly about their needs, expectations, and responsibilities. They should work towards creating balance in their relationship by establishing clear roles and boundaries.
Sexual Dynamics
Trauma can impact sexual intimacy in military relationships. PTSD symptoms such as nightmares, flashbacks, and hypervigilance can cause difficulty achieving or maintaining arousal. Military couples must learn to adapt their sex lives accordingly, adjusting frequency, timing, and physical touch to accommodate these issues. They may engage in non-traditional forms of sex that allow for different levels of sensory stimulation. Shared trauma can also create feelings of guilt and shame around sexuality, especially if it was caused by traumatic events like rape or abuse. Couples must work through these emotions together and establish trust again by being honest and vulnerable with one another. It is essential to seek professional help if needed to address underlying mental health concerns.
Emotional Interdependence
Shared trauma can impact emotional interdependence because each partner may respond differently to the same event. One partner may experience a sense of helplessness while the other feels angry or guilty. This imbalance can create tension within the relationship and make it difficult to express oneself emotionally.
Shared trauma can lead to a loss of self-identity, making it challenging to understand who you are without your partner's perspective. As a result, couples need to find ways to reconnect with themselves and rediscover individual interests outside of their relationship. To achieve this, they should focus on activities that promote self-care, such as exercise, meditation, or therapy.
Shared trauma has a significant impact on military couples' relational hierarchies, sexual dynamics, and emotional interdependence. While it is not easy, these relationships can thrive with proper communication, support, and understanding from both partners. By working towards creating balance, openness, and vulnerability, couples can overcome the unique challenges presented by military life.
How does shared trauma influence relational hierarchies, sexual dynamics, and emotional interdependence in military couples?
Research has shown that shared traumatic experiences can significantly impact relationships between military spouses. Shared trauma refers to any experience of extreme stress, fear, anxiety, pain, or danger experienced by both partners that is beyond their control. This may include combat experiences, natural disasters, accidents, or other life-threatening situations. When two individuals share a traumatic event, they are often drawn closer together emotionally due to the intense bonding experience.