What is Existential Weight?
The feeling that one's choices, actions, and behaviors have significant consequences for their future self is known as "existential weight." It refers to the pressure an individual feels from the prospect of being accountable for all they have done and will do during their lifetime. This concept can be applied to various situations, but it becomes especially relevant when considering romantic partnerships.
How Does Love Transform Someone?
When individuals fall deeply in love, they experience a range of emotions, including elation, passion, desire, devotion, and commitment. They may find themselves changing their priorities, values, and lifestyles to accommodate their partner.
These changes often come with unforeseen challenges that can impact their mental health and wellbeing. It is crucial to recognize how different experiences may shape an individual's behavior and perceptions before entering into a relationship.
Significance of Relationship Stages
Relationships typically progress through several stages, each requiring unique adaptations and compromises from both parties. The honeymoon phase, defined by intense physical attraction and sexual pleasure, usually lasts between six months and two years. During this time, partners develop a strong bond based on trust, affection, intimacy, and mutual respect. Afterward, couples enter the power struggle stage, wherein they must negotiate personal boundaries and expectations within their partnership. If successful, they reach equilibrium, characterized by cooperation, stability, and contentment.
Emotional Investments
Individuals may become emotionally invested in their relationships over time, depending on their level of involvement.
Those who are dating casually invest less emotionally than those in committed relationships. This investment might involve giving up one's freedom or independence to be with someone else. Consequently, being left alone after a breakup can create feelings of rejection, betrayal, grief, and loss.
Psychological Changes
Love may cause significant psychological transformations in individuals as they adjust to new roles, responsibilities, and priorities. Partners may find themselves changing their behaviors, values, and beliefs to accommodate their partner's needs and preferences. They may also experience heightened emotions like jealousy, possessiveness, or anxiety that challenge their sense of self-worth. These changes can lead to mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Navigating Relationships
To navigate these challenges, individuals need open communication, patience, understanding, and flexibility. They should maintain their individual identities while considering their partner's needs and desires. It is essential to remember that no relationship is perfect, and both parties will make mistakes along the way. Forgiving each other for past transgressions helps build trust and strengthens the partnership.
How do individuals navigate the existential weight of loving someone who may return psychologically transformed?
Individuals who have fallen in love with someone who experiences a traumatic event that can potentially cause them to be mentally changed as a result often feel uncertain about their future together. They may wonder how they will react if their partner has become a different person after experiencing this event, or whether they will still love them for who they are now. This can create a sense of instability and anxiety that makes it difficult for them to move forward in their relationship.