The word "affair" refers to an extramarital relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy between a married person and someone who is not their spouse. Infidelity can occur in any type of romantic relationship. Psychologists have identified several reasons why people may choose to engage in such activities despite having a commitment to one partner.
A. Need for novelty: Some individuals may be bored with their current relationship or feel a lack of excitement. This can lead them to seek out new experiences and thrills through a secret affair. They may believe that cheating will add variety and spice up their lives.
This often leads to guilt and shame later on.
B. Low self-esteem: People with low self-confidence may turn to affairs to boost their sense of self-worth. They may see themselves as unattractive or undesirable compared to others and seek validation from another person's attraction.
This only reinforces negative beliefs about oneself.
C. Emotional dissatisfaction: If partners are unable to meet each other's needs emotionally, they may look elsewhere for fulfillment.
If one partner lacks attention or affection, the other may find it outside the marriage. This can damage trust and create feelings of betrayal in both parties.
D. Power dynamics: Sometimes, people engage in affairs because they want more control over the situation. They may feel powerless in their marriage and enjoy having all the attention focused on them without compromise. This can also damage trust and lead to further problems down the road.
E. Addiction: Affairs can become addictive for some people, leading to compulsive behavior and a need for constant stimulation. They may experience withdrawal symptoms when not involved in an extramarital relationship. This is similar to drug addiction and requires professional treatment.
F. Narcissism: Individuals who have narcissistic traits may view themselves as superior to others and expect special treatment. They may feel entitled to seek gratification from multiple sources and believe that cheating is acceptable. This can be destructive to relationships and harmful to those around them.
G. Trauma: Individuals who have experienced abuse or neglect in childhood may use affairs as a way to cope with emotional pain. They may see infidelity as a form of revenge or self-medication, but it ultimately harms them and those they love.
Psychological justifications for affairs vary greatly and depend on individual circumstances. These reasons can lead to significant damage to marriages and families, making it crucial to address underlying issues rather than simply focusing on behavior.
What psychological justifications do individuals give for engaging in affairs?
Individuals often justify their infidelity by claiming that they have fallen out of love with their partner or have become emotionally disconnected from them over time. They may also argue that they are seeking excitement or intimacy that is lacking in their current relationship, or that their extramarital partners meet specific needs (sexual, emotional) not met by their spouse.