Soldiers face unique challenges when it comes to navigating relational ambivalence that is created by their fluctuating desires, attachments, and survival needs. They must maintain physical and emotional distance from others while also forming close bonds with their fellow soldiers. This can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and confusion as they try to balance their own needs and those of their teammates. Soldiers may feel torn between their desire for companionship and their need to protect themselves emotionally. They may also experience intense attachment to comrades who are in danger, which can create a sense of loss if these individuals are killed in action.
Soldiers must contend with the possibility of death or injury, which can make it difficult to form meaningful connections with civilians outside of their unit. In this article, I will explore how soldiers navigate relational ambivalence and offer insights into how they cope with these complex emotions.
Desire and Attachment
Desire plays an important role in soldiering, as it motivates them to complete missions and stay alive.
It can also conflict with their need to remain detached from others and avoid forming emotional bonds.
Soldiers may find themselves attracted to civilians or other members of their unit, but must resist these urges in order to maintain objectivity and focus on the mission. At the same time, soldiers may develop strong attachments to their fellow soldiers due to the intensity of combat experiences, leading to deep emotional bonds that may be challenging to maintain when separated during deployment. These conflicting emotions can leave soldiers feeling confused and vulnerable, making it difficult to maintain healthy relationships both on and off the battlefield.
Survival Needs
Survival is another major factor in navigating relational ambivalence. Soldiers must prioritize surviving over all else, including forming close relationships with others. This means that they must be willing to sacrifice intimacy and emotional connection for the sake of safety. They may feel guilty about this compromise, but it is necessary for their own protection and that of their teammates. As a result, soldiers often struggle to express their feelings openly, even with loved ones back home. They may also have difficulty trusting anyone outside of their immediate circle, creating additional barriers to forming meaningful connections.
Coping Strategies
To manage relational ambivalence, soldiers use various coping strategies. Some rely on humor to deflect attention away from their emotions, while others turn to alcohol or drugs as an escape. Others may engage in risky behaviors such as gambling or excessive drinking to self-medicate their pain. Still, others try to find comfort in religion or spiritual practices. No matter what strategy they employ, however, navigating relational ambivalence remains a challenge that requires constant vigilance and effort.
Soldiering involves complex emotional negotiations between desire, attachment, and survival needs. The resulting relational ambivalence can create significant challenges, but soldiers are resilient and resourceful in finding ways to cope. By understanding these issues, we can better support our service members and help them navigate these difficult emotions.
How do soldiers navigate relational ambivalence created by fluctuating desire, attachment, and survival needs?
Soldiers often experience conflicting thoughts and feelings when they are away from home for long periods of time, especially if they are deployed in combat zones. This can lead to a phenomenon known as "relational ambivalence," where they may feel both love and hate towards their family members, who are left behind. In order to manage these conflicting emotions, soldiers must learn how to regulate their attachments and desires while also fulfilling their survival needs.