How does shared exposure to trauma influence relational hierarchy and power dynamics? Shared experiences can create bonds between individuals and deepen their connections.
When it comes to romantic partnerships, research suggests that shared traumas may also have negative effects. A study published in the journal Developmental Psychology found that couples who experienced trauma together had more conflict and less relationship satisfaction than those who did not share such experiences.
Trauma refers to any highly distressing or threatening event that has long-lasting psychological consequences. It could be a natural disaster, accident, war, violent attack, abuse, neglect, or other adverse experience. Trauma affects each person differently based on their background, coping strategies, support systems, and many other factors.
It tends to leave an imprint on how people perceive themselves, others, and relationships. This article will explore the impact of shared trauma on relational hierarchies and power dynamics.
The Hierarchy in Relationships
In most intimate relationships, one partner assumes a dominant position while the other assumes a subordinate role. This is known as "hierarchy." The dominant partner makes decisions for both partners and controls the direction of the relationship. Power differentials exist because of biological gender roles, cultural norms, social class differences, economic disparities, age, or other reasons. In healthy relationships, these roles are fluid and change depending on circumstances. Each partner has equal agency and autonomy but agrees on who leads specific situations.
Some relationships lack this balance, with one partner holding all the power or dominating another.
Researchers suggest that shared trauma can shift power dynamics in romantic relationships. If one partner experiences trauma alone, they may feel isolated and vulnerable, leading them to seek comfort from their partner. As a result, the second partner takes control of the situation, making decisions and providing emotional support.
This dynamic becomes entrenched, even if the first partner recovers from trauma.
This can create a vicious cycle where the subordinate partner depends more heavily on their partner for validation and security, reinforcing the hierarchy. They may also have difficulty leaving the relationship due to feelings of guilt, obligation, fear of abandonment, or financial dependence. In extreme cases, the subordinate partner might become abusive, controlling, or manipulative to maintain their position within the hierarchy.
How Shared Trauma Can Impact Relational Hierarchies
There are several ways in which shared traumas can impact relational hierarchies:
1. Loss of autonomy - When one partner assumes responsibility for protecting the other, it can lead to a loss of individuality and self-determination.
2. Emotional dependency - Survivors of trauma often rely on others for emotional support and validation. This can make them overly dependent on their partners and prone to codependency.
3. Trust issues - After experiencing betrayal or neglect during trauma, survivors may struggle to trust others, including their romantic partners.
4. Fear of intimacy - People who experience trauma together may develop PTSD symptoms such as hypervigilance, avoidance, and heightened anxiety. These can disrupt healthy relationships by creating distance between partners.
5. Distrust of authority figures - Some people who experience trauma lose faith in institutions like government, law enforcement, or healthcare systems. As a result, they may question the legitimacy of rules and expectations imposed by society.
6. Power dynamics - Trauma can disrupt traditional power structures in romantic relationships, leading to conflict, confusion, and resentment. Partners may feel frustrated with each other's roles and responsibilities, leading to greater tension and dysfunction.
Shared trauma has significant effects on relational hierarchies and power dynamics. It can create codependent, unhealthy relationships where one partner becomes subordinate while the other takes control. To prevent this, couples should prioritize open communication, seek therapy when needed, and establish clear boundaries around decision-making and responsibility. They must also work towards rebuilding trust and mutual respect after traumatic experiences. While not everyone who experiences trauma will have these challenges, it is essential for all couples to be aware of potential pitfalls and address them early on.
How does shared exposure to trauma influence relational hierarchy and power dynamics?
One way that shared exposure to trauma can influence relational hierarchy and power dynamics is through the development of trust between individuals who have experienced similar traumatic events. When two people share a common experience, they may feel a sense of camaraderie and solidarity, which can lead them to form stronger bonds and create a more equal relationship dynamic.