Sexuality: how bondage practice helped me learn selfmastery through continuous loop learning

Growth is a continuous loop—not a ladder. A loop that you keep going around and around, gaining greater clarity, confidence, and skill each time. It's never really an upward climb because there's always another layer beneath that requires mastery before moving on. And this pattern applies just as much to BDSM practice as it does to any other artistic pursuit or personal journey. For example, when I started practicing bondage, it was all about learning how to tie knots—getting better and better at them until I could tie one quickly and confidently without having to look it up every single time. But eventually, I realized that wasn't enough. Sure, knowing how to tie knots was important, but understanding why they were effective—how they constricted the body in certain ways—was also crucial. So, I went back to the basics again and studied anatomy, mechanics, physics, and psychology. Then came more advanced techniques like suspension bondage. It took many hours of trial and error, countless safety precautions, and plenty of research to get good at it. After that, I moved onto sensory deprivation play, which required a whole new set of skills and knowledge. It was frustrating at times because it felt like two steps forward, one step back. However, each time I achieved something new, I gained deeper insight into my partner's needs and desires. Now we can create beautiful scenes together that are both emotionally and physically satisfying for us both. This is just one small example of how growth works in BDSM: reflection, creation, scene, feedback, rest, then deeper reflection again. There's no endpoint—only evolving depth. You might think you're done with bondage after mastering knot-tying, only to discover there's so much more to learn about rope play than you ever imagined. And even if you never move beyond basic ties, that doesn't mean your practice isn't valuable or worthwhile. Growth isn't about climbing; it's about spiraling ever closer to trust, consent, and emotional resonance. This cyclical nature means that every part of the journey matters. Each step builds on the last, helping you become a better practitioner overall. The key to staying motivated through this process is to be patient and persistent. Don't give up too soon when things get challenging or seem unbearable. Instead, take a deep breath, look within yourself, ask for help from your community, and keep pushing forward. Remember that growth requires effort but also rewards it greatly!