How do partners maintain sexual satisfaction when veterans experience emotional numbness or withdrawal?
When veterans experience trauma during their military service, they may develop symptoms such as anxiety, depression, hypervigilance, social isolation, dissociation, anger, guilt, shame, insomnia, nightmares, flashbacks, memory loss, difficulty concentrating, irritability, agitation, and emotional numbing or withdrawal. These can significantly impact their quality of life, including in their romantic relationships and sex lives. Partners of veterans need to understand how these symptoms affect their loved ones' sexual health and wellbeing, so that they can support them through this process.
It is important for partners to communicate openly about what their needs are in terms of sex, intimacy, and connection. This means talking about desires, fantasies, boundaries, preferences, and fears without judgment or criticism. They should also create a safe space where each partner feels comfortable expressing themselves honestly and authentically. This requires patience, empathy, understanding, and active listening skills.
Partners should engage in activities together that promote relaxation, stress reduction, and bonding.
Taking a bath or shower together, cuddling, massaging, practicing mindful breathing exercises, or going for a walk outside. Activities like these help build trust, reduce tension, and improve emotional closeness.
Partners should try different ways of being physically intimate with each other, such as non-penetrative sex (e.g., kissing, touching, caressing), roleplay, BDSM, or sensory play. Veterans who experience emotional numbness may find it difficult to feel aroused by traditional forms of stimulation, but they still have erogenous zones and physical pleasures that can be explored creatively. Partners should take turns leading the way and experimenting to discover what works best for both of them.
Fourth, partners should prioritize emotional connection over performance during sexual activity. Rather than focusing on reaching an orgasm or attaining a certain position or speed, they should focus on enjoying each other's company and expressing their feelings through words and body language. This can involve sharing vulnerable thoughts and experiences, holding hands, making eye contact, or simply feeling each other's presence.
Partners should seek professional help if needed. Trauma-informed therapists and counselors can provide guidance and support throughout this process, helping veterans work through traumatic memories and symptoms while improving their relationships. They can also teach communication skills, coping strategies, and relaxation techniques to manage anxiety and stress.
How do partners maintain sexual satisfaction when veterans experience emotional numbness or withdrawal?
There are several strategies that can be used by both partners to maintain sexual satisfaction despite the emotional numbness or withdrawal experienced by veterans. The first strategy is to set realistic expectations for each other and acknowledge that it may take time for them to regain their full emotional capabilities. This means being patient with each other during the healing process and not expecting too much from one another too quickly.