What mechanisms support long-term relational resilience among combat-exposed couples?
The word "resilience" refers to the capacity of a couple to bounce back from adversity together and maintain their connection despite stressful circumstances. It implies that they can overcome obstacles, adapt to new realities, and find ways to stay close even when life gets tough. In military contexts, many studies have shown that combat exposure is one of the most challenging experiences for couples, putting their relationship under strain and testing its strength.
Some couples are able to weather these difficulties and remain connected despite them. What allows them to do so? What mechanisms support long-term relational resilience among combat-exposed couples?
One factor that contributes to relational resilience is communication. Couples who communicate effectively about their feelings, needs, fears, and concerns are more likely to be resilient because they can work through problems collaboratively and solve them. This includes active listening, openness, empathy, patience, and willingness to compromise. When both partners feel heard and understood, they can build trust and intimacy, which provides a foundation for resilience.
A soldier returning home from deployment may share his or her experience with the spouse without judgment or criticism, allowing the partner to validate their emotions and understand better what they went through.
Another mechanism supporting relational resilience is shared values and goals. Couples who agree on fundamental principles such as honesty, loyalty, commitment, and respect are better prepared to face adversity because they have a common ground for conflict resolution. They also tend to align their actions towards achieving mutually beneficial objectives.
If both partners believe in being honest with each other and working together towards career advancement, they will be less likely to argue over money management decisions or professional opportunities.
Couples who prioritize self-care and take care of themselves physically, mentally, and emotionally tend to develop resilience. This means engaging in healthy habits such as exercise, meditation, relaxation techniques, and stress management practices that promote wellbeing. It also involves seeking professional help when needed, such as therapy or counseling, to address mental health issues like PTSD, anxiety, depression, or substance abuse. Taking care of oneself individually allows individuals to bring their best selves into the relationship and contribute positively to its maintenance.
Having a strong support network outside the relationship contributes to relational resilience. Friends, family members, colleagues, and even pets can provide companionship, socialization, and emotional support during difficult times. This allows couples to share burdens and receive assistance from external sources, which can reduce the strain on the relationship.
This helps prevent isolation, which is often detrimental to relationships. Social support provides an outlet for venting frustrations, sharing joys, and obtaining advice without feeling judged by one's partner.
Long-term relational resilience among combat-exposed couples requires effective communication, shared values and goals, self-care, and external support. These mechanisms help partners navigate difficult circumstances together, maintain intimacy despite challenges, and work towards common objectives. By prioritizing these factors, couples can build a stronger foundation for resiliency that will serve them well throughout life's ups and downs.
What mechanisms support long-term relational resilience among combat-exposed couples?
The ability to adapt to stressful situations is considered an important component of resiliency. This applies not only to individuals but also to interpersonal relationships such as marriages between military members exposed to combat trauma. In fact, studies suggest that resilient couples demonstrate effective communication patterns, active problem-solving strategies, and strong social supports, which may help them cope with adversity and maintain their relationship satisfaction (Etter et al.