More attention has been given to the experiences of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex, agender, asexual, nonbinary, pansexual, polyamorous, demisexual, omnisexual, and aromantic individuals who serve in military settings. These individuals often face unique challenges during and after their time in uniform that can impact their sexual identity and intimate relationships. In this article, I will explore how veterans reintegrate their sexual identities and intimate lives after combat or high-risk service, including specific examples from research studies and personal stories. The first section will discuss what is meant by "sexual identity" and "intimacy," followed by an explanation of how these concepts are affected by military culture. Next, I will examine the factors that contribute to post-service adjustment and reintegration for LGBTQIA+ veterans, including trauma exposure, stigma, and cultural norms.
I will provide strategies for addressing sexual identity and intimacy issues among veterans in both individual and community contexts, drawing upon expert advice and practical suggestions.
Sexual Identity and Intimacy in Military Settings
The term "sexual identity" refers to one's internal sense of gender identity and sexual orientation, which may be expressed through behavior, attire, language, and social roles. In contrast, "intimacy" describes physical closeness, emotional connection, trust, and mutuality between romantic partners. Both sexual identity and intimacy are important components of healthy relationships, but they may be disrupted during military service due to stressors such as separation from loved ones, changes in living conditions, and exposure to violence or trauma.
A study conducted with U.S. Army soldiers found that 40% had experienced physical or verbal harassment related to their sexual orientation, while another survey of transgender veterans revealed that 75% reported being sexually assaulted at some point during their military career (Abramovich & Ziegler, 2018). These experiences can leave individuals feeling alienated from their bodies and relationships, leading to difficulty integrating into civilian life after service.
Military Culture and Post-Service Adjustment
Military culture is characterized by hierarchical structures, strict rules, and a focus on conformity, which may create tension around sexual identity and intimate relationships. LGBTQIA+ individuals may feel pressure to conceal their true selves to avoid stigma, discrimination, and even legal repercussions for violating the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) or Don't Ask Don't Tell policy (DADT). This secrecy and silence can lead to feelings of isolation and shame, making it difficult to form meaningful connections with others outside of the military setting.
Military training emphasizes teamwork, obedience, and discipline, which may conflict with individualistic values associated with LGBTQIA+ identities.
The hypermasculine culture of many branches of the armed forces can make it challenging for individuals who do not conform to traditional gender roles to be accepted as equals in social spaces like bars or sports teams.
Factors Affecting Reintegration
Several factors contribute to post-service adjustment among LGBTQIA+ veterans, including trauma exposure, stigma, cultural norms, and personal beliefs about sexuality. Traumatic events such as combat, torture, or assault can lead to physical and emotional harm that affects one's sense of self and relationships. Stigma refers to negative attitudes or stereotypes directed towards members of a certain group, and can manifest as bullying, exclusion, or discrimination. Cultural norms are shared expectations about behavior and values that shape individual perceptions and actions.
Some cultures prioritize heterosexual marriage over same-sex partnerships or consider certain genders more desirable than others. Personal beliefs about sex and intimacy are based on upbringing, religion, and other influences, and may conflict with mainstream norms. These factors all interact to influence how individuals reintegrate into civilian life after service.
Strategies for Addressing Sexual Identity and Intimacy Issues
To address these issues, both individuals and communities must work together to promote inclusion, understanding, and support. Individual strategies include seeking therapy or counseling, connecting with peer groups, exploring personal identity through art or writing, and practicing mindfulness meditation or yoga. Communities can offer safe spaces for LGBTQIA+ veterans to express themselves freely, advocate for policy changes, and organize social events centered around their experiences. Expert advice suggests fostering a culture of acceptance, encouraging open dialogue about sexuality, and promoting education and awareness about LGBTQIA+ identities. Veteran organizations like OutServe-SLDN provide resources and support for LGBTQIA+ servicemembers and veterans, including legal assistance and social events.
Sexual identity and intimacy are important components of healthy relationships but can be disrupted during military service due to stressors such as trauma exposure, stigma, and cultural norms. To reintegrate successfully after combat or high-risk service, LGBTQIA+ veterans need individual and community support that addresses their unique needs and challenges. By providing safe spaces, educational opportunities, and therapeutic interventions, we can help these individuals live fulfilling lives outside the military setting.
How do veterans reintegrate sexual identity and intimacy after combat or high-risk service?
After serving in high-risk situations like combat or other risky duties, many veterans face difficulties with reintegrating their sexual identities and intimacy into civilian life due to traumatic experiences such as PTSD and survivor guilt. Veterans may find it challenging to connect emotionally with others and experience changes in their sexual desires and behaviors.