Sexual exploration is an exciting way to spice up your relationship and keep it fresh and interesting. However, when you try new things that are considered taboo or forbidden by society, such as BDSM, roleplaying, fetishes, public displays of affection, group play, or exhibitionism, the stakes can be higher, leading to more significant emotional risks and vulnerabilities. While there's no magic formula for creating and sustaining sexual excitement during these experiences, there are practical tips you can follow.
1. Set clear boundaries before trying anything new
Before engaging in any taboo activity, establish clear boundaries with your partner about what you both want, need, and expect from each other. This includes discussing the type of activities you're willing to engage in, how far you're comfortable going, and what your limits are. For example, if you're interested in bondage but don't want painful activities, communicate this explicitly so your partner knows exactly where you stand. Setting boundaries prevents misunderstandings and helps prevent hurt feelings later on.
2. Establish a safe word
A 'safe word' is essential when experimenting with taboo scenarios because it allows you to stop the action quickly and safely if something goes wrong. It should not be a standard word like "stop," "no," or "stop" but a random word unique to your situation. Make sure everyone involved understands the safe word, and ensure it isn't one that could easily become part of the scene.
3. Communicate throughout the experience
Communication is vital when exploring new sexual territory. Use verbal cues, nonverbal cues (such as facial expressions), and body language to communicate with your partner. If something feels uncomfortable or good, let them know immediately so they can adjust accordingly. Maintain eye contact, touch, and intimacy to show your partner that you're present and engaged in the moment. Encourage your partner to do the same by mirroring their actions.
4. Experiment slowly and gradually
Explore different aspects of taboo scenarios at your own pace. Don't rush into anything too quickly or push yourself beyond your comfort zone. Take things slow, start small, and build up over time. This will help you feel more confident and comfortable, reducing anxiety and increasing arousal. Start with light bondage rather than full-on BDSM, try public sex before exhibitionism, or begin roleplaying with simple characters instead of elaborate storylines.
5. Respect your partner's limits
Respect your partner's boundaries and listen to what they say and don't say during the experience. For example, if they say they don't want something to happen, stop immediately. Avoid pressuring your partner to engage in activities outside their comfort zone. Be sensitive to their needs and reactions and never shame or guilt them for saying no.
6. Engage in aftercare
Aftercare is essential following a taboo scene because it helps process and integrate the experience. It includes verbal communication, physical affection, and debriefing about what happened. Aftercare allows you to acknowledge any issues, express gratitude, and discuss next steps. Spend time together cuddling, snuggling, holding hands, and enjoying each other's company.
7. Practice self-care and mindfulness
Self-care and mindfulness are critical when trying new sexual experiences. Make sure to get enough sleep, eat healthy meals, exercise regularly, and practice relaxation techniques such as meditation or yoga. This will help reduce stress and anxiety levels that can interfere with intimacy and pleasure. You might also consider therapy if necessary to work through underlying issues or trauma that could affect your relationship.
8. Reflect on your experience
Reflection is key to learning and growing from new experiences. Take time to reflect on what worked well, what didn't, and how you felt emotionally and physically. Did you enjoy the experience? Were there aspects of it that left you uncomfortable? What did you learn about yourself and your relationship? Use this information to inform future decisions about your sex life and relationships.
9. Try different ways to maintain arousal
Maintaining arousal during taboo scenarios requires effort and creativity. Experiment with different positions, locations, props, and fantasies to keep things fresh and exciting. For example, try using blindfolds or restraints to heighten sensations, incorporating roleplay into your routine, or playing music or lights to set a mood. Don't be afraid to get creative and have fun!
10. Have realistic expectations
Remember that experimenting with taboo activities may not always go smoothly. Some things may not feel right for one partner or both, leading to disappointment or conflict. It's essential to manage expectations beforehand, communicate clearly throughout, and accept that sometimes things won't turn out as planned. Be patient and understanding, and don't let mistakes derail your relationship.