Relational satisfaction is about being able to get your needs met within a relationship, which can be challenging for some people, especially those who identify as LGBTQIA+. In mainstream culture, there is an emphasis on finding "the one," having a happily ever after, and achieving stability. But these concepts aren't always achievable or even desirable in queer relationships. Closure, resolution, and permanence may seem like essential parts of a successful relationship, but they don't necessarily apply to everyone's definition of relational satisfaction. So what does it look like when these prescriptive ideals are thrown out?
One way to think about this is through the idea that relationships come in many forms and can exist outside of heteronormative norms.
Polyamory involves multiple partners, which means there isn't just one person to provide closure. Instead, it may involve negotiating agreements between all parties involved.
Open relationships allow for intimacy beyond monogamy, allowing for different types of love and connection without needing to stick to traditional definitions of commitment.
Casual dating can be fulfilling without expecting permanent bonds, providing a space for exploration and fun.
But what about romantic attraction and sexual desire? These things can still occur without requiring lifelong partnership. People may have intense feelings towards someone without wanting to settle down with them forever - such instances often referred to as "crushes" or infatuations. Or they could have a strong physical attraction but no emotional connection, leading to satisfying encounters without the expectation of long-term commitment. The key is communicating clearly about expectations and needs, whether you want something more serious or not.
Another aspect of relational satisfaction that may differ from mainstream culture is the concept of mono/poly relationships. This is where one partner has multiple relationships, either simultaneously or separately, while another remains monogamous. It allows each person to explore their desires without restricting the other. It requires clear boundaries, communication, and trust, but it offers an alternative to traditional relationship structures. Some people may find this liberating, while others struggle to understand it.
Relational satisfaction in queer contexts is unique to each individual. Some may seek long-term commitments, while others prefer short-term hookups or polyamory. It's essential to acknowledge and accept these differences rather than imposing heteronormative ideals onto everyone. By doing so, we create a world where diverse relationships are possible, allowing us all to experience love and intimacy on our terms.
What does relational satisfaction look like in queer contexts where closure, resolution, and permanence are not prescriptive ideals?
Relational satisfaction in queer contexts that do not subscribe to traditional monogamous norms can vary greatly and may not follow the same patterns as heteronormative relationships. Queer individuals may prioritize different factors such as communication, mutual respect, and emotional intimacy over exclusivity or commitment. The idea of "closure" may also be less relevant in non-monogamous or polyamorous relationships, which can create different expectations for partners.