Anticipating Rejection Shapes Queer Individual's Choices About Disclosure and Identity Performance
The desire to be accepted is universal for all people, regardless of gender, orientation, race, religion, age, or any other defining characteristic.
Some groups face discrimination that makes this need even more urgent. This includes queer individuals who have had experiences with prejudice, stigma, or marginalization because of their sexuality or gender identity. One way that queer individuals deal with these feelings is through disclosing their orientation or gender to others.
Some may tell friends and family about their sexuality but keep it private at work or vice versa. Others may only come out to specific people they trust, while others are open about everything.
Can Anticipation of Rejection Influence Decisions?
One factor that can influence the decision to disclose one's queerness is the anticipated reaction from the other person. If someone believes that their peers will react negatively to their orientation or gender identity, they may hesitate to share it publicly. They may choose to perform their identity in ways that make them appear "normal" or cisgender, such as dressing a certain way or using particular language. Similarly, if an individual expects positive reactions, they may feel more comfortable being open about their queerness.
What Are Some Effects of Disclosure?
Disclosure can lead to various effects on queer individuals depending on how they were received. If someone has a negative experience, it can cause anxiety, depression, shame, guilt, self-doubt, and other mental health issues. On the other hand, positive responses can boost confidence, self-esteem, belongingness, and happiness.
Disclosing information can improve relationships by creating a sense of intimacy and closeness between two people. It also allows for greater honesty and authenticity within social circles.
Do You Have Any Advice?
If you identify as queer, there are several things you can do to manage your anticipation of rejection when deciding whether or not to disclose: 1) evaluate who you plan to tell beforehand; 2) consider what impact coming out might have on your life; 3) seek support from friends/family members who accept you unconditionally; 4) know that everyone's journey is different; 5) remember that you deserve respect regardless of your identity; and 6) take care of yourself afterward, regardless of the outcome.
Can the anticipation of rejection shape queer individuals' choices about disclosure and identity performance?
Yes, the anticipation of rejection can influence queer individuals' choices regarding disclosure and identity performance. A recent study found that people who anticipated greater negative social consequences for their sexual orientation were more likely to conceal it than those who expected less negative feedback (Villado et al. , 2019). This suggests that people may be reluctant to disclose their identity if they expect negative responses from others.