Practice Doesn't Make Perfect, Closeness Does
Repeating similar sex acts may feel safe, but it isn't necessarily good for the relationship. By contrast, new things that build connection are possible through active engagement.
Predictable sex feels safe because there is less risk of awkwardness or rejection. But that doesn't make it satisfying. It becomes routine and boring. To avoid this, partners must communicate what they want, try something different, and check their feelings throughout. They also need to accept and adapt to each other's boundaries and preferences.
Real closeness and intimacy depend on emotional attunement and communication. This means listening carefully to understand your partner's needs, wants, fears, hopes, and desires. You should share yours too. Be curious about them; learn more about them every day. Find ways to connect deeply—not just physically.
Closeness requires vulnerability, as well. Open up to each other. Share private thoughts, feelings, memories, dreams, goals. Expose yourselves emotionally as much as physically. Express affection, trust, love, compassion, respect, appreciation, support, forgiveness. Give and receive validation.
Intensity comes from novelty, surprise, and variety. Mixing things up can keep you interested in each other. However, don't do anything unpleasant or upsetting without clear consent.
Therefore, practice does not automatically lead to perfection. Instead, be close enough to know your partner and brave enough to explore. Repeat scenes while asking: What else could we try? How would I feel if I did X with Y instead? Can we bring something new into the bedroom?
The key is active engagement. Reflect on past experiences. Discuss preferences. Try different positions, toys, fantasies. Set a scene that arouses both of you. Communicate during sex to ensure it stays safe and satisfying for everyone involved.
Remember, practice doesn't make perfect. Closeness makes intimate sex great. So, build connection by sharing and exploring.