It's been nearly a year since your partner has returned home from their deployment. You were initially relieved to finally be reunited after being apart for so long, but you noticed something strange. Your partner was distant, withdrawn, or even cold towards you - behaviors you never saw before they left for duty. It became increasingly difficult to communicate with them, and you began to feel alone again. What could be causing this change? How do individuals confront these emotional realities and reconnect with their partners post-deployment? Read on to find out more about how couples can work through these challenges together.
1. Identifying the issue
It's important to identify what is happening between you and your partner. Talk to them openly about how you feel and express any concerns you may have. Be specific about the changes you've seen in them since they've come back from deployment. Are there particular activities that used to bring you closer together now seem forced or uncomfortable? Have your communication styles shifted significantly? Maybe your partner has developed new habits or routines while deployed, which make it hard for them to transition back into daily life. Understanding the root cause of the problem will help both parties find ways to address it.
2. Addressing emotions
Once you've identified the issue, address your own emotions as well. Feelings of jealousy, anger, or resentment can make it harder to reconnect with your partner. Try to stay calm and nonjudgmental when discussing the situation. Acknowledge that this is a complicated process, and both people need time to adjust. Encourage your partner to share their experiences and thoughts during their time away, so you can understand where they're coming from.
3. Reestablishing intimacy
Reintroducing intimacy after a long period apart can be difficult. It may take some trial and error to figure out what works best for you and your partner. This could mean trying different sexual positions, exploring new fantasies, or even taking up hobbies or activities that bring you closer together. Communicate clearly about what you want and need, and don't be afraid to ask questions or try something new. Take things slowly, especially if either party was involved in other relationships or struggled with their identity during the separation. Remember, intimacy isn't just physical - it's also mental, emotional, and spiritual.
4. Working through trauma
If your partner experienced trauma during deployment, whether it's military-related or personal, they might struggle to reintegrate into civilian life. Seek professional help if necessary, and encourage them to talk openly about any issues they may be facing. Understand that this will likely take time, patience, and understanding. Be there for your loved one emotionally, and offer support as they navigate these challenges. You can't force someone to heal, but providing a safe space for them to do so can make all the difference.
5. Making adjustments
Be willing to make adjustments yourself to accommodate your partner's needs. Maybe they need more alone time than before to decompress, or prefer a new routine that prioritizes self-care over couple activities. Whatever changes arise, stay flexible and adaptable as much as possible. Your relationship is always evolving, and that includes post-deployment transitions too.
Confronting the emotional realities of post-deployment life takes work, patience, and understanding. By addressing the issue directly, working through any trauma, and making adjustments together, couples can emerge stronger from deployment and reconnect on a deeper level. Remember to remain patient, open-minded, and compassionate throughout the process, and don't give up hope!
How do individuals confront the emotional reality that partners may have developed new habits and independence during deployment?
One way individuals may cope with their partner's changed behavior upon returning from deployment is by acknowledging and accepting the changes that occurred while they were apart. It is important for both parties to communicate openly about any concerns they have regarding these alterations in order to work towards reconciling them together. Additionally, it can be helpful to engage in activities that promote bonding such as spending time together doing hobbies or exploring new interests.