The transition to a new city or job can be exciting, but it also poses challenges for some couples. Relocation and career changes often lead to stressors that affect many aspects of life, including love and sex. While both partners may experience similar levels of anxiety and uncertainty, these stresses can lead to different ways of coping, which may cause friction between them.
One partner may become more distant while another becomes clingy, leading to misunderstandings about their intentions.
The couple may face financial pressures that make them feel insecure about their future together, triggering fears of betrayal or abandonment. These emotional shifts can impact physical intimacy, causing couples to lose interest in each other's bodies.
Transitions need not destroy sexual desire and satisfaction. By communicating openly and exploring creative solutions, couples can preserve their erotic connections during relocation or career changes. Here are six tips for doing so.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: Transitions can bring up strong feelings of worry, anger, or sadness. Expressing your emotions helps you process them and communicate with your partner. Talk about how you are feeling without placing blame on them. Tell your partner what you want from the relationship and listen to their responses without judgement. This allows you to work through your insecurities together and find common ground. Don't dismiss your partner's concerns or minimize their needs by insisting everything is fine. Doing this will only create resentment and distance.
2. Set Realistic Expectations: It's normal for couples to have lowered libidos after a transition. Don't expect sex to be as frequent or intense as it was before. Instead, focus on enjoying each other's company outside of bed. Go out on dates, take walks, talk about non-work topics, watch movies, cook meals, and cuddle. This shows you care about more than just sex, which will make you feel closer when you do become physically intimate again. Remember that every couple has different sexual rhythms, and there isn't one right way to be intimate.
3. Be Creative: Find new ways to connect with your partner beyond physical pleasure. Try roleplay, sensual massage, mutual masturbation, or exploring a kinky fantasy. You could also try novelty items like a blindfold or erotic games. Experimenting with novelty items or activities adds excitement to your relationship and keeps things fresh. If you can't meet in person, use video chat for long-distance playtime or virtual roleplay. Just remember to set limits to avoid feelings of guilt or shame.
4. Seek Professional Help: A therapist or counselor can provide objective guidance during transitions. They may offer tools for stress management and communication skills training. Couples therapy can help you identify patterns of behavior causing conflict and develop strategies to resolve them. Many online services offer affordable options, such as BetterHelp or Talkspace. Don't wait until the problem becomes unbearable - seek help early on.
5. Make Time for Sex: Schedule time for intimacy in your daily or weekly routine. This creates an expectation of connection without waiting for a random moment.
Plan weekly dates where only intimacy is allowed. Or, set aside Sunday afternoons for making love. This sets boundaries and helps you prioritize your bond.
Don't force it if neither partner wants it. Instead, find alternative ways to feel connected and relaxed together.
6. Take Care of Yourself: Physical health impacts sexual desire. Eat nutritious meals, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep. Reduce alcohol consumption and limit screen time. Stressors can cause physical symptoms like headaches, fatigue, and muscle tension that make sex unappealing. Self-care improves energy levels and emotional stability, which makes you more receptive to intimacy. It also demonstrates self-love to your partner, making them more likely to want you sexually.
Transitions are challenging but not insurmountable. By acknowledging feelings, setting realistic expectations, being creative, seeking professional help, making time for sex, and taking care of yourself, couples can sustain their erotic connections. Remember that every couple is unique, so adjust these tips accordingly. Open communication and patience will strengthen your bond and help you overcome any obstacle.
How do couples sustain sexual desire and satisfaction during transitions such as relocation or career changes?
In recent years, researchers have proposed various explanations for how individuals can maintain intimacy and fulfillment in their romantic relationships during significant life changes like moving or changing careers. One popular explanation is that it requires effort, flexibility, communication, and openness to new experiences. Firstly, couples should prioritize spending time together to nurture their relationship and cultivate a strong foundation of trust and understanding.