Relationship Maintenance Under Stressful Conditions
In times of war, soldiers face many challenges that can affect their relationships with loved ones back home. One major challenge is the need to focus on survival rather than connecting with others. This shift in priorities can lead to difficulties in maintaining relational intimacy, which is crucial for healthy relationships.
There are ways that partners can work together to overcome these obstacles and stay connected despite the stresses of military life.
Communication
The first step in maintaining relationship intimacy during deployment is effective communication. Partners should make an effort to keep in touch regularly through phone calls, emails, video chats, and letters. They should be honest about their feelings and needs, and listen actively to each other's concerns.
They should avoid making assumptions or jumping to conclusions, as this can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
Trust
Trust is essential for maintaining relational intimacy. Soldiers who are deployed may feel a sense of disconnection from their partner due to the distance between them. To build trust, partners should be open and transparent with each other about their experiences and emotions. They should also show respect for each other's boundaries and privacy, and avoid judging each other based on differing opinions or beliefs.
Reassurance
Soldiers may feel insecure and vulnerable while away from home, so reassuring messages from their partner can help alleviate those feelings. Partners can send positive messages expressing support and love, reminders that they are thinking of their soldier, and updates on how things are going at home. This shows the soldier that they are not alone, even though they are far away.
Support
Partners can provide practical support by sending care packages or gift cards, helping with household tasks, and offering financial assistance if needed. This demonstrates their commitment to the relationship and willingness to work together to overcome challenges.
Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is another important factor in relationship maintenance during deployment. Soldiers may experience stress, fear, sadness, anger, or loneliness, which can be difficult to navigate without support. Partners should recognize these emotions and offer empathy and understanding, rather than trying to fix the problem immediately. This helps soldiers feel heard and valued, and encourages them to open up more fully.
Sexuality
Intimacy does not just refer to emotional connection, but also physical closeness. While some couples choose to abstain from sex while one person is deployed, others find it helpful to maintain a healthy sexual connection through video chats, sexting, and other means. It's important for partners to communicate about their needs and boundaries, and explore new ways to stay connected physically despite distance.
Maintaining relational intimacy when soldiers prioritize survival over connection requires effort and understanding from both parties. By communicating effectively, building trust, providing reassurance, supporting each other practically, showing emotional intelligence, and exploring sexual expression, partners can remain close despite the stresses of military life.
How do partners maintain relational intimacy when soldiers' coping mechanisms prioritize survival over connection?
The question poses an important challenge for military couples as they navigate the unique stressors of their relationship. Soldiers are trained to be effective in extreme situations where self-preservation is paramount, but this can sometimes come at the expense of relational intimacy with their partner. While it may seem counterintuitive, the key to maintaining intimacy during these times is to focus on each other's needs rather than one's own.