In the context of warfare, military personnel must balance their need for emotional protection and connection with their comrades. This tension is reflected in the ways they interact intimately, particularly when it comes to sex and romantic relationships.
The way they navigate these dynamics can change over time as they experience traumatic events and are exposed to different social pressures.
One example of this tendency is the concept of "combat brotherhood," where soldiers form close bonds with one another based on shared experiences and trust. These relationships often involve physical contact and displays of affection that go beyond what would be considered appropriate in civilian life. Soldiers may engage in activities such as massages, hugging, or even kissing to build camaraderie and solidarity among their unit.
This behavior can also lead to sexual tension and confusion when they return home. Many veterans struggle with feelings of loneliness and disconnection from their partners due to unresolved conflicts about their intimate interactions during deployment. They may feel guilty about having participated in behaviors they perceive as inappropriate, leading them to withdraw emotionally from those closest to them.
Some soldiers develop a fear of commitment or intimacy after experiencing trauma, which can manifest in various ways. Some may avoid physical touch altogether, while others become hypersexualized and seek out multiple sexual partners. Others may engage in risky behaviors or have difficulty with communication and self-regulation.
Negotiating between emotional self-protection and the longing for closeness requires a balance of acceptance, introspection, and active effort to maintain healthy relationships. Veterans must learn to recognize and acknowledge their needs and desires, both in themselves and in others, without judgment or shame. With time and support, they can reconnect with loved ones and find fulfillment in non-romantic forms of intimacy.
How do soldiers negotiate the tension between emotional self-protection and the longing for closeness, and how does this negotiation reshape their intimate behaviors over time?
Prior to entering active duty, most military personnel hold traditional ideas about romantic relationships that are largely based on gender roles. They may have learned that men should be "strong" and emotionally distant while women should be "weak" and emotionally vulnerable. This can create problems when it comes to intimacy since open communication and mutual support are necessary for healthy relationships.